abl Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Are "Maximalist" Running Shoes The Next Big Con? No One Knows!
Today, The New York Times has a piece out on the maximalist running shoe, a trend now old enough to warrant an article written with characteristically Times-ian remove from rigorous examination of its subject. The thing about these shoes, though, is that even if the Times had wanted to conduct a mor...
These Trick Shots Won't Blow Your Mind. Seriously, They're Boring.
With the caveat that trick shot videos are inherently dorky, I've decided that ping pong trick shot videos are one of the top 10 nerdiest things on YouTube....
Help! My Apartment Reeks Of Drunken-Cooking-Incident Smoke!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Watch Steve Ballmer Flip The Fuck Out To The Music Of Fergie
Fergie performed between quarters of the Clippers-Lakers game at Staples Center tonight. Clips owner Steve Ballmer, uh ... enjoyed it? I think that's what he's doing, here? Enjoying? That or just straight-up raging out. I can't really tell....
Grierson & Leitch's 2014 In Review: The Year's Worst Films
Yes, most people have already written their Top 10 movie lists for 2014. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's a look at the worst movies of 20...
The Drunkspin 2014 Holiday Gift Guide
Are you wondering what to get the beloved boozebags in your life? I bet you're not, right? You're just going to give them all bottles of randomly selected $30 brown liquor, or maybe those stupid little chocolates stuffed with a quarter-squirt of skanky schnapps, or the first gin-and-martini-glasse...
Video: Bad Things Happening To TV Reporters In Ferguson
Television reporters who braved live coverage last night from Ferguson faced attacks from police (with tear gas) and protestors (with rocks and other objects). Here are some examples we witnessed last night....
Reports: Red Sox To Sign Hanley Ramirez And Pablo Sandoval
It appears the Red Sox will not content themselves with just one premier free agent signing; credible reports have Boston inking both Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval to five-year deals, to be finalized as early as today....
Sore-Loser Table Tennis Kid Just Straight Shoves Umpire Out Of Chair
Some sort of youth table tennis tournament in Russia here, where the loser calmly places his paddle on the table, shakes hands with his opponent, and then just wrecks the umpire's shit before strolling away....
Lemon Asks Alleged Cosby Rape Victim Why She Didn't Bite Off His Dick
Don Lemon gets a lot of deserved criticism around these parts for being a clueless dunce, but his interview tonight on CNN with alleged Bill Cosby rape victim Joan Tarshis took the clownshow to a new level when he asked her why she didn't bite the disgraced comedian's dick off....
Steve Ballmer Comes On Strong With The Embarrassing Dadness
Clippers owner Steve Ballmer was doing his Steve Ballmer thing throughout his team's home opener, but the highlight of his hootin' and hollerin' came right after the final whistle, when Ballmer wielded his daddish intensity (dadtensity) to embarrass and frighten his son, as all good dads know how to...
Table Tennis Player Gets Too Amped, Destroys Sign, Loses Prize Money
Pro table tennis player Zhang Jike won the 2014 Liebherr Men's World Cup in Germany this weekend, and he celebrated by kicking the shit out of a nearby sign before tossing his shirt into the crowd. Take that, sign! I am the best at table tennis and I am stronger than you!...
The Immigrant Sport: What Ping-Pong Means In America
I am standing in a gaggle of table tennis players in a dark bar in Grand Rapids, Mich., on the Fourth of July. Before us, another table tennis player named Donald Hayes is playing Millipede. Donald and the others are all competing in the U.S. Open, the biggest ping-pong tournament in America, but ri...
NFLers Cannot Figure Out How To Use Tablets
Beginning last year, NFL teams started using Microsoft Surface tablets for things like their playbooks, medical records, and concussion testing. This year, the program expanded to include things like replay on the sideline. And now, the WSJ has a very predictable yet still quite funny story about ev...
<em>The Expendables 3</em>: An Actor-By-Actor Breakdown
No film series in recent memory relies more on the sheer mass of its cast than the Expendables movies. I've seen the assembled talent referred to as the Traveling Wilburys of '80s Action Stars, but there were only five of those guys. This more resembles the cast of a '70s disaster movie, in which ...
Here Are Some Adorable Fox Terrier Puppies Hanging Out With A Bunny
It's been a pretty bad couple of days in sports, with lots of people acting terribly. There's no need to ignore all that and pretend the world is perfect, but there's no need not to take a minute to watch these puppies playing....
<em>They Came Together</em>: The Second-Best Romantic Comedy Spoof Ever
I'm just a guy, sitting in front of a screen, asking it to make me laugh at beautiful, awkward, charming people who are falling in love. The romantic comedy can be a fine way to burn two hours, but it's a silly genre at heart, with its contrived meet-cutes and drawn-out misunderstandings, and also...
Adorable Kid Hugs His Dad For Catching A Foul Ball
Here we have a brief moment from this afternoon's Padres-Braves game and, god damn, is it ever the cutest. Dad and son take in an afternoon ballgame when all of sudden, a foul ball comes their way. Triumphant dad displays the ball he has just snagged, his son echoes that triumph for exactly one se...
How To Grill Vegetables, And Make The Most Of Those Hot Coals
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is friend of the program and Drynuary evangelist John Ore....
Lentil Ricochets Six Feet, Easy, Off Of An Abdomen
I know there will be six kinds of naysayers, and while there is no notary public involved, I have photo documentation of a French green lentil falling from mouth-height, ...