abl Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...

DeShawn Stevenson Rocks The Michael Vick Jersey
There are several possible explanations as to why DeShawn Stevenson was wearing a Michael Vick jersey and an Atlanta Falcons' hat at a Cleveland hotel before Game 5 of the playoffs. Somewhat likely: It's a statement against his least favorite movie, Turner and Hooch. Most likely: His OJ Simpson jers...

Carmelo Anthony Absolutely, Unequivocally Bombed Out Of His Mind, Say Cops
The latest reports out of Denver about the DUI arrest of the booze-addled, snitch-averse Carmelo Anthony say that the Nuggets' star's level of impairment was, according to investigating officers, "extreme."...

Who Is The NBA's Least Valuable Player? You Decide!
Chris Paul, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James...everybody has an opinion about who should win the NBA's MVP award this season, and most people have a theory about who's going to do it. Not me. I'm much more interested in who's going to be the league's Least Valuable Player. And you, the reade...

In What Universe Is This A Foul?
A foul, Mr. Official? Seriously? This call is the 2000 Florida election results of college basketball....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Tiger Is Unstoppable
Tiger Woods just put away Stewart Cink record fashion at the WGC Match Play Final by a score of 8&7. What that means is that Tiger was leading by 8 holes with just 7 remaining in their 36-hole match. Although they never got anywhere near that 36th hole, Tiger managed to pile up 11 victorious holes t...

Not the Greatest Career Swing for Lord Byron
The Falcons yesterday parted ways with seven players, including four-time Pro Bowl tight end Alge Crumpler and quarterback Byron Leftwich, who has capped a rapid descent from starting quarterback to journeyman with an unsure future....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to finds its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...

Elisha's Special Lady Will Freeze With the Rest
If Abby McGrew wants to watch her boy-toy Eli freeze his nuts off in Green Bay then she's going to have to layer-up. Cooper-Eli's eldest brother-tells the New York Post (they get all the scoops!) that the quarterback won't have his woman sitting in a luxury box, because it's bad luck of course!...

1971 Was The Heyday Of Table Hockey
Going Five Hole has the video: It's the 1971 World Table Hockey Championships. And judging strictly from this footage, it's pretty obvious that the world of table hockey should be Christopher Guest's next mocumentary....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning for its wittiest, hardest-hitting, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Border War: The Day After
Tennessee wins the SEC East with a 52-50, four-OT thrilla over Kentucky. Good. West Virginia secures a BCS spot, electrocuting the Huskies. Fantastic. The Hokies down Virginia 33-21 for the ACC Coastal crown. Put it in on the mantle. No. 10 Oklahoma pounds Oklahoma St. Who cares? UCLA, Iron Bowl, Te...

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

What, No Facepaint?
For a franchise with such a short and unremarkable history the Carolina Panthers sure seem to attract an odd level of devotion. Most recently a curious young couple thought fit to devote their entire wedding ceremony to the team they love so much....

Why Would You Bet On Kids? I'm A Man! I'm 40! Bet On Me!
Unsilent Majority isn't here this weekend to help you bet on college football. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not here to help you either. But if the following college football bets turn out to be true, consider it dumb luck....

Topless Ping Pong, Your Time Is Now
If you're like us here at Deadspin, attending topless ping pong tournaments is not only a hobby, it's a way of life. But the last thing you expect is that ESPN will be on hand to televise one of the events. If you pan the crowd, I demand that my face be blurred! But 100 Percent Injury Rate asks the ...