AC Milan - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
Gerard Deulofeu Returns To Barcelona, Which Is Just The Stupidest Idea
Goddammit. You were so close to making it, Gerard, and then you had to go and do this....
Milan Fans Are So Disgusted With Their Goalkeeping Prodigy They're Throwing Fake Money At Him<em></em>
Gianluigi Donnarumma, aside from having an incredible name, is also the most promising young goalkeeper in the world. The prodigy they call “Gigio” is only 18 years old, and yet he’s already played two seasons as AC Milan’s starting keeper. On the international level, Donnarumma is the clear success...
Berlusconi's Long Reign As AC Milan Owner Ends As China Expands Its Global Soccer Reach<em></em><em></em>
Nearly a year after the sale of storied soccer club AC Milan was first announced, and eight months after the purchase agreement was signed, a holding company controlled by former Italian Prime Minister and gross, criminal, proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi finalized a deal with Chinese investors, repres...
Juventus Win After Milan Whistled For Questionable Last-Minute Handball
Serie A leaders Juventus went 11 points clear today after they escaped with a 2-1 victory over Milan, thanks to a last-minute handball penalty called on Milan’s Mattia De Sciglio....
Finally, Someone Appears Ready To Unleash The Full Powers Of Gerard Deulofeu
It’s been an up-and-down year in an up-and-down career for the magnificently gifted, maddeningly daft, infinitely enamoring young winger Gerard Deulofeu. ...
Silvio Berlusconi To AC Milan's Players: Stop Sucking Or I Won't Pay You
Libidinous tangerine peel, AC Milan owner, and proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi is mad. The media magnate has owned Milan for a few decades now, but never before has he had to suffer through such a drab spell of mediocrity. Talking to the players ahead of the biggest match of the season, Berlusconi mad...
So Close, Mario
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Silvio Berlusconi, Who Somehow Still Owns A.C. Milan, Said Some Racist Shit About Mario Balotelli
Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga party alumnus and the only crustacean to serve as prime minister of Italy, has been convicted of paying for sex with an underaged prostitute and tax fraud, and he’s been accused of a truly expansive list of other crimes. Berlusconi was buddies with Muammar Gaddafi, is ...
Mario Balotelli Has Pretty Bad Hair, Scores A Pretty Good Goal
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:...
Mario Balotelli Given Another Last Chance, Returns To AC Milan
The familiar Mario Balotelli cycle has been completed yet again. Stuck on hard times with a team that didn’t want him and telegraphing his own unhappiness with his employers by acting out, Balotelli has been gifted another reprieve. A big club, this time his former home AC Milan, has swooped in to r...
A.C. Milan's Philippe Mexès Hammers Home Ridiculous Volley
Philippe Mexès gave A.C. Milan a 1-0 lead over Inter in an International Champions Cup match with this absolutely impeccable volley off a corner. This is nuts....