ac Page 899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sriracha Declared A Public Nuisance; Civilization To Collapse
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, motherfuckers: It tolls for sriracha. In a unanimous, bourgeois-food-world-rocking vote Wednesday evening, the City Council of Irwindale, California declared the noxious hot-sauce fumes emitting from the town's Huy Fong Foods factory a [dun dun dun] public nuisance....
Meet April Atkins, Once The World's Strongest 7th-Grader
You might think that a huge amount of information about a 12-year-old girl once celebrated as the "world's strongest seventh-grader" would surely exist online. That's the sort of thing ARPANET was built for, wasn't it? That, and allowing mainframe computers all over the world to talk to one another....
David Ortiz Goes On Slowest Home Run Trot On Record
Thanks to our friends at Tater Trot Tracker, who have been timing home run trots for years now, we know that nobody takes his time getting around the bases quite like David Ortiz does....
The MLB Pundits Are Back. Will They Be Less Of A Disaster In 2014?
In what is becoming an annual tradition, we ask the question: Will this year finally be the one where the baseball pundits turn it around? After a string of terrible prediction seasons from 2009-2012 (see details), the "experts" followed it up with a truly pitiful 2013, in which no one picked either...
Pacers Bench All Five Starters, Still Beat Bucks
When Pacers coach Frank Vogel announced he would sit all five starters for last night's game against the Bucks, it was like a thought experiment come to life. Can a good team's second unit beat the starters of a historically awful team? It was close, but...yes!...
Baseline Bathroom Standards: Let's Do This
The rise of AirBnB—and the existence of Airpnp, which allows you to tap-tap-tap on your tiny computer telephones and find a friendly bathroom in which to take a whiz when no acceptable public option is available—makes necessary a conversation about what amenities a bathroom should feature, and what ...
Paul George, In Two Charts
Kirk Goldsberry has a new post on Paul George over at Grantland, which you should go read. It includes the charts above, which tell the story of George's shooting numbers sinking like a bag of anvils, and some of that is hard to figure, like the numbers close to the rim. But some is really hard to e...
Ashley Wagner's Still Got It
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Vin Scully Makes Even Stories About Crack Pipes Endearing
Detroit is out in Los Angeles for interleague play tonight, which means America's most valuable treasure Vin Scully has the opportunity to discuss some players he doesn't often see. One Tiger Vin's plenty familiar with is former Angels outfielder Torii Hunter, and the Dodgers announcer took his thir...
The Moment A D-I Basketball Coach Stumbled Out Of A Crackhouse
In 1986, Kevin Mackey led the Cleveland State men's basketball team to a stunning upset victory over Bob Knight's Indiana Hoosiers in the NCAA tournament. Four years later, he came wobbling out of a Cleveland crackhouse into the waiting arms of the police. The local news station was also there, capt...
2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four
We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters i...
Israeli Basketball Is Kind Of Insane
This is what happened at the close of last night's chapter of Israel's biggest rivalry, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Hapoel Tel Aviv. After a close away win for Maccabi, center Sofoklis Schortsanitis—a former Clippers draft pick—charged into a hostile crowd to try to beat up a Hapoel fan. You can see the fa...
All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys
All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in...
UK Fan With "National Champions" Tattoo Taking It As You'd Expect
Sometimes, as with Seahawks Guy, an optimistic tattoo turns out to be prophetic. Other times (most times?) it turns out like it did for Kentucky fan Tyler Black, who went and got this "2014 Nati9nal Champions" tattoo before the tournament. After UConn defeated UK last night, let's check back in with...
Storrs Is Rioting After UConn Win
Well, here we are again. Another victorious college, another burning college. The kids in Storrs have gone crazy after UConn beat Kentucky Monday night and they've ripped down a lamp post and thrown it through a school building's window. There are fires, flipped cars, and people climbing things they...
Kemba Walker Made Michael Kidd-Gilchrist Wear A UConn Shirt
Walker and Kidd-Gilchrist are Bobcats teammates, but tonight they were adversaries. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist was one of Coach Cal's one-and-doners and Kemba Walker is a UConn guy. So they got together to watch the game and apparently made a friendly wager that Kidd-Gilchrist clearly lost. That's Walke...
Shabazz Napier On Winning: "This Is What Happens When You Ban Us"
Shabazz Napier had some parting shots for the NCAA following his MVP-esque performance in defeat of the Kentucky Wildcats for the NCAA Championship. Before his interview with Jim Nantz even began, Napier asked for everyone's attention and introduced the "Hungry Huskies" and told the world how pisse...
UConn Wins NCAA Championship
Shabazz Napier had 22 points on 8-16 shooting and was named the most outstanding player of the Final Four after UConn's 60-54 win over Kentucky in the NCAA title game. The Huskies became the first No. 7 seed to win the NCAA Tournament. ...
Alex Poythress Shows No Ill Effects From Leg Injured In Celebration
Following Kentucky's win over Wisconsin Saturday night, Alex Poythress looked to suffer a pretty painful leg injury. He got himself stuck at the bottom of a celebratory pile-up on the court, and twisted his leg and was in obvious pain. By the look of things tonight, all seems to be OK. ...