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One Way To Get Coordinated Is To Stop Picking Your Nose
Your morning roundup for Sept. 7, the day we learned to see the positives in Tasers. H/T to Joe for the picky screen grab from NFL.com's fantasy home page. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Nick Nolte Admits Late Night <em>Warrior</em> Boozing In Random Pittsburgh Apartment Was Bad Idea
Nick Nolte gave a candid interview to Movieline about the very Nick Nolte evening he got himself into while trapped in Pittsburgh on the set of the Tom Hardy brawl-fest Warrior. Amazingly, Nolte, age 70, straightened himself out in time before he ended up splashed all over The Smoking Gun again....

This Evening: Ole Miss Hat Girl Has Creepy Online Suitors
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 6, the day we discovered a huge-ass crocodile. Reader Ryan sent the above photo and wrote, "I lost a bill on this game but it was worth it when a camera caught this girl. I found out my future wife is in Oxford but I need your help. Can we get some intel on this young la...

Tim Tebow's Jersey Sales Are Down Because They're "All Out Of Size Sexy"
The Messiah Watch is officially on alert: Last week we learned that Tim Tebow's Broncos jersey—once record-setting—is only the tenth most popular in the NFL. This bright Denver man suggests that retailers must be "all out of size sexy"; another non-believer in KDVR's segment suggests it's because ...

Doug Flutie's Daughter Is A Patriots Cheerleader, After Four Rejections
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Alexa Flutie found the fifth time's a charm....

Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...

SprtsCntr: Peyton Manning Has An Ouchie
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, And Carmelo Anthony Can't Dance
The trio was in China recently, where a few of the locals challenged them to a dance-off. According to this video, anyway, the best the three of them could do was to attempt a few lame ball-handling tricks, after which Chris Paul took the initiative by trying a couple of basic moves followed by a us...

Maryland's Play-Calling Last Night Was Even More Unsightly Than Its Uniforms
Your morning roundup for Sept. 6, the day heroin mills went corporate. Photo courtesy of Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Miami-Maryland College Football Open Thread
The prime time college football slot on ESPN tonight: Miami at Maryland. They're both unranked, but they're also both recently scandalized, which is really all it takes to make the national broadcast. One has been disgraced by a former booster; one has been disgraced by sponsored clown suits (et cet...

"You Mad Bro" Sign Kicks Off High School Football Racism Controversy
Time once again to play Ohio or Florida! Time's up, it's Ohio....

Rafael Nadal's Leg Cramps Made For An Awkward Press Conference Yesterday
This video will make anyone who's ever suffered from a muscle cramp cringe. Rafael Nadal was settling in for a post-match press conference after a straight-set win over David Nalbandian yesterday when he was suddenly hit with the pain of a stiffened calf muscle....

I-Team: A "Totally Single Virgin" Investigative Status Report
Shortly after the call went out for information regarding the beer-holding woman wearing a sign prominently advertising herself as a (Red Sox) "virgin" yesterday, tipster Justin responded with this report:...

Your MLB Open Thread
Baseball is on! Let's watch others labor while we refrain from laboring. There are 16 games to choose from today, if you need to choose. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that any will feature Storm Troopers as umpire escorts. That time has passed....

Your "Do You Want A Tennis Open Thread?" Open Thread
Labor Day is a perfect "hang around and watch TV" holiday. Tennis fills the background noise-void perfectly. So watch the final 16 men and women whittle themselves down even further, on CBS all day....

Deadspin Classic: Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
The New York Mets are 13.5 games out of first in the NL East, and potential owner David Einhorn has gone the traditional route and quit on the club. It is, as usual, a bad time to be a sad Mets fan. With that in mind, we look back at the saddest of the sad Mets fans: Seth Fleischauer, the self-procl...

Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

I-Team: Who's The "Totally Single Virgin" Who Advertised Her Phone Number At Fenway Park Today?
Sometimes, investigative subjects make tracking them down an easy task for Deadspin's I-Team. Take Blonde with a Nearly Empty Beer and Dark Nail Polish, for instance. If you read the sign closely, you can see she was going for "Call me, I've never seen the Red Sox play before today." So don't read ...
