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Dan Wheldon Spent His Last Night Talking To George Maloof And Getting His And Hers Tattoos With His Wife
Poor, poor Dan Wheldon. The IndyCar driver died in a miserable, fiery wreck yesterday, leaving behind a wife and two young sons. Awful stuff. And this was before we found out that he spent his last night alive in the company of a Maloof before getting some tattoos....

The Godawfulest Team In Football Has Acquired Itself A Shiny New Receiver
Lloyd has one season—last year—where he had 1,448 receiving yards. Pretty impressive. His prior four seasons combined? 860 yards! Sounds like you've finally got yourself a winner, 0-5 Rams! [Chris Mortensen]...

No, Marco Fabian, Celebrating A Goal By Mock-Executing A Teammate Will Not Go Over Well In Mexico
Marco Fabian, a midfielder for Mexican Premiera powerhouse Chivas de Guadalajara, scores a lot of goals. Accordingly, Marco Fabian needs to celebrate a lot of goals. On Saturday, for example, he scored a hat trick in Chivas's 5-2 win against Tecos, and had to celebrate three different goals. This,...

Strip-Search Demanded At World Scrabble Championship To Find Letter "G"
It may come as news to most of the universe that the World Scrabble Championships took place last week, and ended yesterday when Nigel Richards of New Zealand defeated Aussie Andrew Fisher, 3-2. Richards ended the five-day tournament with 95 points on the word "omnified"—which, as proof that humans ...

The Stats May Or May Not Show That Dez Bryant Played His Ass Off, But This Photo Does
Your morning roundup for Oct. 17, the day the headline "Used Condom-Collecting Women Charged In Alleged Sex Attack Spree" caught our attention. H/T to Adam for the Dez Bryant photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

NBC To Fans: We Aren't Psychics: Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
Last and most certainly least, it's Sunday Night Football. At least there's Faith Hill?...

Your Brewers-Cardinals NLCS Game Six Open Thread
Edwin Jackson et al for St. Louis. Shaun Marcum for Milwaukee. They met in Game Two. St. Louis won 12-3. Cardinals win this time, and they're World Series bound. Cardinals lose, and they're bound for a Carpenter vs. Gallardo deciding seventh game....

Presenting A Picture Of Chad McGhee Signing A Young Knox City Greyhounds Fan's Forehead
We'll be catching up with Chad McGhee later in the week to get more details about last night's Knox City Showdown charity event. However, if you can't wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to hear how his bout with Coach Charles "The Animal" Steele went, the good folks at the Abilene Reporter-News were k...

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Dogies: Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
If you were looking for the second leg of our open thread tripod, congratulations! It's right below. Join in all the fun....

Here's Video Of Eagles TE Brent Celek's Great Catch Against The Redskins
In the first half of what's been collectively branded a do-or-die game for the 1-4 Philadelphia side, the Eagles look like the Eagles were expected to look this season and the Redskins look like the Redskins were expected to look, too. However, Brent Celek — while a serviceable tight end — was nev...

Here's To Swimmin' With Bow-Legged Women: Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
The football season is almost six-seventeenths over. That's almost half a season. Which is almost a whole season. Football is basically over, OK? Let's talk about it down below. ...

Chip Kelly And Erin Andrews Want You To Shut Up When They're Speaking
Your morning roundup for Oct. 16, the day we learned that people can actually be crueler to others than we'd imagined they could. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Tigers-Rangers ALCS Game Six Open Thread
It's Max Scherzer vs. Derek Holland tonight as the latter's Texas Rangers attempt to close out the former's Detroit Tigers and advance to the World Series for the second consecutive year. Excitement. Experience it via comments here....

This 36-Second Lady Fight Should Suffice For Those Unwilling To Pay For Hopkins/Dawson Tonight
This here fracas is titled "GIRLS FIGHT TILL THE FINISH!!!!!!!!" but unless "TILL THE FINISH!!!!!!!!" means "until one decides it's time to sashay back inside," this really doesn't make the first lick of sense. Same way I feel about paying $59.95 when I can just watch Bernard Hopkins beat Chad Daw...

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
If you're so into college football that it overtakes ALCS Game Six tonight, here are your choices: No. 8 Clemson at Maryland (ESPNU); No. 17 Kansas State at Texas Tech; Florida at No. 24 Auburn (ESPN3); No. 7 Stanford at Washington State (Versus); and No. 3 Oklahoma at Kansas (ESPN2, 9:15 p.m.)...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Good batch of 3:30 p.m. games: No. 1 LSU at Tennessee (CBS); No. 6 Oklahoma State at No. 22 Texas (ESPN); No. 12 Georgia Tech at Virginia (ESPNU); and Ohio State at No. 16 Illinois (ABC)....

Steven Seagal Will Keep America Safe From Invading Mexicans
"Seagal, 59, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office newest deputy. The sheriff's office said he'll be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border. 'It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,' Sheriff Arvin West s...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
Indiana visits the profane No. 4 Wisconsin Badgers (ESPN2), No. 11 Michigan heads over to No. 23 Michigan State's house (ESPN), No. 21 Texas A&M hosts No. 20 Baylor (FX) and No. 15 South Carolina goes to Mississippi State (SEC Network/MSG)....

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Brewers-Cardinals NLCS Game Five Open Thread
National League championship series game five action coming your way at 8:05 p.m. ET! Taste it! Zack Greinke goes for the Brewers and Jaime Garcia for the Cardinals. The series is tied two-two. We hope you are riveted....