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Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Andy Kaufman, The Unlikely Bombthrower
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, from the best book ever written about stand-up comedy, Phil Berger's The Last Laugh, we look at the evolution of Andy Kaufman, meshuga provocateur....

Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Mitch Hedberg, The Comic's Comic
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, the Masked Man looks at the legacy of Mitch Hedberg, the surrealist who developed a cult following before his death in 2005—and an even bigger one after his death....

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...

Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dennis Rodman's Gym Class Would Like Him To Hurry Up And Finish At The Hall Of Fame
Your morning roundup for Aug. 12, the day after a 15-year-old app developer would have been better off leaving well enough alone. Photo via AP. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Lady Whose Face Got Mauled By A Chimp Does Not Look Like A Lady Whose Face Got Mauled By A Chimp Anymore
The first post-face-transplant photograph of Charla Nash was released today. Nash is the woman who got "mauled by an out-of-control chimpanzee" named Travis, who was in a bunch of commercials and lived with a widow in Connecticut....

Let's Watch Cowboys In Police Cars Try To Lasso An Escaped Bull
"We've had wildlife in the city before, but I don't remember a bull being downtown and you're right ... we were concerned for the bull and for citizens' safety." — Mike Hirman, Auburn (WA) Police Department [WJBF]...

Yep, An "Olympics Ambassador" Is Now A "Riot Suspect"
Well, this one kind of wrote itself for the Daily Star in London:...

Here's Video Of A Brawl On The Wildwood Boardwalk (NSFW)
It's not every day that you see a brawl on the Wildwood Boardwalk, which is located near the southern tip of the Jersey shore. That only happens on the days you go to the Wildwood Boardwalk....

The Philadelphia Union's Cryptic "New Player Announcement" Means Freddy Adu Is MLS-Bound
According to a press release sent out by the Philadelphia Union around 3:30 p.m., the team "will introduce their newest team member" at noon. Their CEO, manager and "new team member" will all be available for comment....

Be Cool Or Elmo Might Have To Stab Somebody
Last night, in Nassau Bay, Texas, a suburb of Houston, Joshua Knight made one very bad decision. He wore this Elmo shirt. The other bad decision, involving his stabbing a man who tried to break up a fight between Knight and a woman, is totally alleged....

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Okay Easton PR Guy, You Win
Perhaps you've seen "Ultimate Batting Practice" around this week; it's a full fledged viral video now. You'll recognize it by the egregious sodomy of physics, and the prominently-displayed dual Easton logos. It's a "dude" making magic with four pitchback rebounders, and that's all the info that come...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Jessica Kirson
Who? Jessica Kirson started in New York. She's big but never uses it to self-pity or incur sympathy. She uses it to destroy. The hardest comics to follow on a show are the ones that change the rhythm of a room. A one-liner comic throws off the pattern for the comedians that follow because the audi...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...