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At Least One Newspaper Thinks The Heat Won
They're looking to punch every one of you in the gut with a Macy's ad congratulating the Heat on their title, and offering championship gear for sale. Which...still doesn't really make a lot of sense, considering that if Miami had won last night, the series would still be going on. Oh well. Instead ...

Here's Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki Das Booting An $80K Bottle Of Champagne
Your morning roundup for June 13, the day some variation of "flippin'" made Sarah Palin's email word cloud. Dirk drinking photo via @skindoeshoops....

Your Mavs/Heat Game Six Open Thread
Nobody has the flu tonight. So we're told. Dallas leads 3-2 going on the road, just like the world champion 2010 Celtics. This ain't over, not yet, at least. Bienvenido a Miami....

May <i>SI's</i> Creepy Jason Kidd Photo Forever Invade Your Nightmares
Tipster Neil alerts us to SI.com's album of "Rare Jason Kidd Photos" (note to self: assemble album of rare Jason Kapono photos, don't tell anyone, profit), and one photo in particular....

Michael Vick Delivered A Graduation Speech, But No One Paid Attention
Remember Dwight Eisenhower's famous farewell address, where he warned us of the military-industrial complex, but we didn't listen to him and wound up in lots of unnecessary (and unnecessarily costly) wars? Maybe this is the lowbrow version of that address....

There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...

Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....

Facing the Lockout, <em>Madden</em> and NFL Fans Seek a Common Refuge
At E3 this week, the sight I was least prepared for was that of Ray Lewis in full Baltimore Ravens uniform: eye-black, skullcap, gloves, wristbands, everything. This was an appearance for Madden NFL 12 but to him, it didn't look… [Kotaku] ...

Your Belmont Stakes Open Thread
Bye bye, horse racing season. Post is 6:35 p.m. on NBC, pre-race stuff is on Versus....

Canadian Press Is Really, Really In The Tank For Canucks
This ain't a hometown columnist, folks. Although it would be frivolous even in that case. Rather, this is wire copy (from Canada's leading newswire, the Canadian Press), an ostensibly evenhanded piece about the series between Vancouver and Boston, supposedly fit for all journalistic outlets in Canad...

Bad Beats, Briefly: A Surefire Way To Lose Money In The Belmont Stakes
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

John McEnroe: Not All Of You Journalists Are Assholes
The classic 1980 Wimbledon Final between John McEnroe and Björn Borg has been dissected more than any match in tennis history. But the friendship that developed between the two, before and since, hasn't been as picked over, in part because Borg, who abruptly left the sport at age 26, has been genera...

The People Of Vancouver May Not Realize The Canucks Need To Win Another Game
Your morning roundup for June 11, the day we realized, to paraphrase David Foster Wallace, that J.J. Abrams, director of Super 8 must surely have been ignorant of the meaning of "suppurate." Video via @ctvbc....

Your Bruins/Canucks Game Five Open Thread
Sorry this is a little late. Series 2-2. Puck's dropping now, anyway....

Great Moments In Horrible Sexual Faux Pas
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's LeBron James And Dwyane Wade Mocking Dirk Nowitzki Before Last Night's Game
From CBS Dallas, cameras caught James and Wade leaving their shootaround showing all signs of being sick with the flu. Or perhaps poking fun at Dirk's 102-degree fever in game 4. For the record, LeBron, Wade and Dirk all had excellent games last night....

Yankee Fans, Forever Alone
Your morning roundup for June 10, the day we went swimsuit shopping. Image via Scott....

Pryor To Saskatchewan: Drop Dead
Yesterday we brought you word that the CFL's Saskatchewan Roughriders, employers of one Chris Leak, had acquired negotiating rights to Columbus-area sports memorabilia dealer Terrelle Pryor. Today, Canada heard the bad news: Pryor is apparently not down with three downs....