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One Girl Lost A Weave While Another Parted With A Fake Arm During An H&M Brawl In Philly
While the fight itself is nowhere near the caliber of the I(ride the ride)Hop, Oakland B.K. or Chuck E. Cheese's brawls, there's something to be said for a headless mannequin wearing a "Knot Violence" T-shirt....

Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....

<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...

The NFL Wants Less Devin Hester In Your Life
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hester hates the league's new kickoff rules....

Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....

Watch Manny Ramirez Almost Kill Roy Oswalt
Roy Oswalt was struck "in the upper body" with a line drive hit off of Manny Ramirez's bat today in Port Charlotte, Fla. Crossing Broad captured the video, and while at first glance it appears to hit him in the back of the head, initial reports state that he was struck above the right shoulder and...

The UConn Fans Ruined Geno Auriemma's Birthday
Hours before his 57th birthday, and just after his Huskies beat Purdue by 24 points in Storrs to advance to the Sweet 16, Geno Auriemma sat down in a press conference and found something to complain about. Only about 5,700 people — just about half the capacity of Gampel Pavilion — had come out to ...

Syracuse Tries To Trademark "Orange;" Other Orange Schools Don't Like It
You can trademark anything these days. Pat Riley, of course, owns "three-peat." Michael Strahan has "Stomp You Out." Jared Allen registered "Got Strange?" But owning a swath of the color spectrum is mighty presumptuous. Since Syracuse dropped the "men" from "Orangemen," the school has been trying to...

These People At The Bruce Pearl Rally Are Now Unwitting Internet Heroes
Oh dear. Rocky Top Talk took one of the first photos of these Pearl supporters who showed up with their mullets and that sign to his rally, which is just the perfect sendoff to a coach whose legacy will be forever tarnished. Like a dimond. (H/T Twitterverse)...

The Dave Duerson Autopsy Report Is Predictably Heartbreaking
The Miami-Dade County medical examiner has released her final report on the death of former NFLer Dave Duerson, who shot himself through the heart last month and instructed that his brain be donated to head trauma research. Confirmed by the report is that Duerson complained of "memory loss and inabi...

Frank Martin Is The Most Terrifying Coach On Earth
Wisconsin beat Kansas State in the second round on Saturday, and in the post-game press conference, a reporter's question made Wildcat senior Jacob Pullen cry. Terrifying hero-coach Frank Martin came to his star's defense, and in that moment we were reminded that if Frank Martin wanted to, he coul...

Derrick Rose Made This Young Hawks Fan Cry
Your morning roundup for March 22 23, the day Glenn Beck contemplated launching his own channel, and we all contemplated launching ourselves off bridges....

Luis Castillo Skipped His First Two Days Of Phillies Camp
The Mets granted Luis Castillo his merciful release on Friday, and he then told Newsday's Jim Baumbach that he would "wait, go home and hope to catch on with another team."...

Jerking Off In Congress: A Bipartisan Debate
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering semen, allergies, boogers, and more....

Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...

Goalkeeper Misses The Ball, Knees Opposing Player Directly In The Face
In Ukranian professional soccer action on Sunday, Volyn keeper Vitaliy Nedilko tried to collect a loose ball and instead collided directly with Luiz Adriano's face. To those who say soccer isn't a contact sport: it is when player's noses are crushed inside their faces, okay? Adriano's squad, Shakh...

Bruce Pearl Between Rock And Hard Place
Your morning roundup for March 22, the day our road signs finally warned us of the zombie menace....

Cats vs. Dogs: The Madness Marches On
When we last met, we had four tough matches ahead of up. And some of those were particularly intense. Today we've got two more, pitting classic breeds against pop culture legends. Grab your bandaids, because this one's going to leave… [Jezebel] ...

Spanish Announcer Goes Loco After Amazing Final 30 Seconds To Euroleague Basketball Game
We could attempt to recap the final 30 seconds of this Euroleague game between Real Madrid FC and Unicaja Malaga on Saturday, but we wouldn't really know where to begin. It's much better, we think, to listen to this Spanish sportscaster's telling of the epic finish, even if you can't understand hi...

Vote For The Most Deserving Madden Cover Athlete, Or Just Stir Up Shit
Madden NFL 12 is the most important video game of all time, topping previous title-holder Madden 11, which usurped the title from Madden 10, etc, etc. Same game, a couple new features, and most notably, a new cover athlete. The Madden Cover jinx is a thing of the past, but it's still quite the honor...