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Here's Hoping This Steers "White-Boy" I-AA Football Players Away From Making "Comedic" Music Videos
About a week after Ray Lewis went to talk to Elon University's football team at their spring game, tipster Adam says players with "nicknames such as East Infection, Juice Box, and the Bigger Guys" decided to share "Welcome to the EU" with the YouTube-accessing world....

Gus Is Gone, But His Most Famous Calls Mashed Up With Internet Memes Lives On Forever
During the 2010 playoffs, David "Crashtern" Matthews, former Deadspin staffer and current production coordinator for the Sports Show with Norm Macdonald blog, put together a tribute for our man Gus, who we learned today is "parting ways" with CBS. It is Gus calling the O.J. chase, Gus calling the i...

Terry Francona: We Didn't Sign Carl Crawford To Hit Eighth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: no one on the Red Sox is hitting, but some are hitting less than others....

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
So, the youngest MVP in NBA history, the bong-loving son of a tennis player and a bunch of other guys will try to defend their No. 1 seed by fending off the mighty Atlanta Hawks. Later, Richie Rich's underlings will try to drop a deuce on the Lakers....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
With a home victory tonight against the Flyers, the Boston Bruins would have an insurmountable lead in their conference-semifinal series. With a home loss against the Sharks, the Detroit Red Wings would have an impossibly deep deficit from which to emerge in the other conference....

This Office Prank Is A Good Argument Against Ever Working With A Bruins Fan
We're told that the prankster in this video, who hopefully still has a job, is Kelly Park, son of NHL Hall of Famer Brad Park. He promised the CFO of their company that he would "prank" him should the Bruins knock out the Habs in the first round. They did, somewhat dramatically, and Park chose to ...

Ousted Frank McCourt Takes To The Airwaves
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the former(?) Dodgers owner makes a case for his stewardship....

Philly Gave Jayson Werth A Conflicted Standing Ovation Last Night
Jayson Werth, D.C.-area multi-millionaire, had his first at-bat at Citizens Park since the December 2010 deal last night. He was treated to a standing ovation of sorts, one that was one-part mostly-genuine strained clapping and one-part all-out disgusted booing (which quieted, slightly, when he ti...

Tyler Hansbrough Tackles "Chicken Little," And Other Great Moments In NBA Literature
Reading is fundamental! As part of a partnership with the Indianapolis-Marion County Public Library, kids (or, say, you) can dial up the Call-A-Pacer hotline at (317) 275-4444 to hear your favorite 8-seeds read from their favorite children's books. This week: Tyler Hansbrough reading "Chicken Litt...

LeBron James Made Rajon Rondo Do A Somersault
LeBron James played one of the best games of his career last night, which is saying something, because he is LeBron James. He shot 56 percent from the field and finished with 35 points, seven boards, and zero turnovers. The Heat will go to Boston for Games 3 and 4 of this series, which should have...

Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees
Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey....

Michelle Obama Teaches You How To Dougie
We were wondering if our President and First Lady could do anything to top what just might be The Best Week Ever In Presidential History. And then Michelle Obama went ahead and did the Dougie. This, you should know, as a potentially tax-paying American, is a part of the "Let's Move!" campaign and ...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
Two second-round NBA Game Twos to watch this evening: Celtics-Heat at 7, and Grizz-Thunder at 9:30, both on TNT....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Two second-round games tonight for your viewing pleasure: Caps and Lightning, which appears on your Versus right about now, and the Canucks and Preds, which will be on at nine, 10 p.m. Halifax time....

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Cuarto Clásico Open Thread
This one's for all the skittles. Real Madrid must overcome a two-goal deficit in Barcelona to get into the Champions League final. No easy task, not when Barcelona defends by keeping possession. The clásicos have been oddly disappointing so far, as Brian Phillips points out at Slate:...

Your Special Edition Dead Bin Laden Funbag
Before we get to your letters, kudos to TMZ for asking if Obama had victory sex on Sunday Night. Because he totally should have. His seaman should have conducted a forceful raid of his wife's compound to celebrate that news....

One Nation, Under Jimmer
Your morning roundup for May 3, the day certain Canadians declared they're moving to Greenland....