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A Horrifying Selection Of Port-A-Potty Sex Stories
What's it like to make love to a drunken stranger in an outdoor waste box? Some readers have an answer....

Stop Snitching, Golf Viewers
Padraig Harrington was disqualified after a fan watching at home emailed the tour to report he illegally moved the ball. It's the second time this month people on their couches have narced on a player. [Golf.com]...

The World's First Compelling Sideline Interview, Courtesy Kim Clijsters And Her Suspicious Cleavage
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NBA Players: Don't Stiff Your Hookers, Or They'll Blow Up Your Spot (Featuring The Return Of Ms. Candy Deepthroat)
Lance Stephenson was allegedly $1000 short for a threesome with a pair of professional escorts, so one posted video of what she claims is him entering the hotel with her. Secretly recording your johns? That's not gonna be good for business. [BlackSportsOnline]...

Phil Jackson: "The Heat Won't Get By Boston"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jackson's not worried about Miami's Big Three....

Ripped from the Headlines: Your Hardest News Roundup
This week in your newsiest roundup, North Korean Supreme Commander Kim Jong Il signs on for a starring role alongside Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman, and the nation's idiots obtain minor lacerations due to the latest SNOWLOCAUST!...

Rex Ryan Should Have Kept The Stache And Dropped The Motto
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Peyton Hillis Is OK With Being Called Chuck Norris
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the life of a white running back....

NFL Scrubs Concussion Allusions From Even Car Commercials
Under pressure from the NFL, Toyota was forced to edit a commercial that showed a helmet-to-helmet tackle, even though the ad was about helping to prevent brain injuries in football....

Caroline Wozniacki Is Happy To See You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

As If Lawnmower Races Weren't Thrilling Enough
Lawnmower racing may or may not be the national sport of New Zealand; we're not clear on our Kiwi stereotypes. But we do know this: any mower race that ends in fisticuffs is automatically the best mower race of all time....

The Meaning Of "Fuck Tom Brady," And The Genius Of Rex Ryan's Trash-Talking
Athletes talking shit to each other is hardly a new story. Every kid who ever played sports in high school knows that shit-talking is a time-honored tradition in competitive athletics. The winners shit-talk the losers; the losers shit-talk the winners; the fans shit-talk the players, shit-talk the o...

Aaron Rodgers Already Signed Stuff For Cancer Lady, So Can We Drop This Story?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rodgers sets the record straight, once and for all....

Sharapova Stalker's Homemade "I Am Not A Stalker" Sign May Not Convey Intended Message
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tom Brady Didn't Sleep Well Last Night, On His Pile Of Money Next To A Supermodel
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Brady still claims the Jets didn't get to him....

Who Was The Dirtiest Player In Yesterday's Rangers/Flyers Game?
Sean Avery, of course. It's always Avery. But it was close. The Flyers bench taking some swings at an on-ice player are up there with Avery punching Matt Carle while he's down. Pick your poison:...

Nice Of The Australian Open To Hire An Albino As Line Judge
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Look, Maria Sharapova Has A New Dress!
The Australian Open starts tomorrow, with Rafael Nadal going for a not-quite Grand Slam. It's "not-quite" because while he'd win a fourth consecutive grand slam, it's not in the same season and Rod Laver won't let that historical-aggression stand....

Finally, Your Jets/Patriots Open Thread
"Awful" Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe makes a damn good point in his game-day column:...
