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Wilson Chandler's Tooth Almost Ended David Lee's Career
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: David Lee's owie could have been much worse....

Cockblocked By Skidmarks!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

And Here's An 11-Year-Old Dunking
And yes, that's a regulation rim. Adrian Moore is in seventh grade, which means he won't even start college until 2016. Assuming he's not already playing for money somewhere in Europe next year. [Prep Rally, h/t Ryanosaurus Rex]...

Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...

CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joba Chamberlain Had The Best Winter Meetings Of Any Yankee
Chamberlain's living it up at Disney World as we speak, and the husky manchild appears to have made a new friend....

Heat Strokes, Game 23: The Splendors Of Boredom
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

A Brief List Of Terrible Things That Recently Happened To Joggers
Via Runner's World: They've been hit by buckshot; shot by hunters; shot in the foot; attacked by pitbulls, packs of dogs, owls, men, and union members; run down by Cadillacs and struck by RAV 4s; finding dead bodies; and Kim Kardashian. [RWDaily]...

Andrei Kirilenko Hasn't Cashed In His Adultery Allowance Yet
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: AK-47 only drinks his own milkshake....

Antoine Walker Airballs Free Throw, Nails Metaphor In D-League Debut
Flat broke, Walker signed a low-5-figure deal with the Idaho Stampede. He scored 13 in his debut last night, but we think this shot is a more appropriate highlight. [h/t Dan]...

"Just Put The Fucking Pizza In The Fucking Oven": LSU Girl Freaks Out At Papa John's
One of America's future leaders has had it up to here with her pizza taking so long. Bonus: fellow student pulls the "hold me back, bro" move while pretending to want to fight her....

The Miami Heat's Bus Is Actually Named LeBus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

An Update On The 2007 Study That Found That NBA Referees Are Kind Of Racist
In 2007, two economists released a study arguing that in NBA seasons from 1991 to 2004, white referees called more fouls against black players than against white players, and the NBA got angry. On Wednesday, TrueHoop's Henry Abbott broke down the story....

Rex Ryan Takes His Butt-Whupping
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: what it's like to be the "3" in 45-3....

Deadspin Classic: The 2008 New York Jets Preview, By Jenn Sterger
The NFL has shipped off its report about Brett Favre's penis to Roger Goodell (more later), but, for now, let's look back on how this all began: with the 2008 Jets preview Jenn wrote for us, and which I'd completely forgotten about....

Searching For...Peerless Price
An attorney by the name of W. Anthony Collins has called on the I-Team to help locate the former Vols/Bills/Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys wide receiver. He's vanished, you see....

Heat Strokes, Game 22: We Are All Hostages
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....