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Albert Haynesworth Can Totally Explain, You Guys
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the soon-to-be unemployed Haynesworth addresses this....

Coach Who Hoped For Butt-Whupping Declares Loss His Career's Biggest Butt-Whupping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Adam Dunn Is Probably Going To End Up Strangling Ozzie Guillen
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Adam Dunn on his new city and his new coach....

Heat Strokes, Game 21: The Meeting Is The Message
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The NFL's Helmet-To-Helmet Rules Are Absolutely Pointless
Heath Miller sustained a concussion on a brutal helmet-to-helmet hit from Baltimore's Jameel McClain. This is what the NFL's trying to prevent. They're doing a damn shitty job....

ESPN Launches Site For Women
espnW launched today, the worldwide leader's new site for the ladies. Go take a look and report back with your findings....

Wisconsin Student Paper Names, Shames Students Re-Selling Rose Bowl Tickets
The Badger Herald is pissed off, and taking names. Well, listing names. The names of UW students who snapped up coveted Rose Bowl tickets, and are attempting to scalp them. As strong proponents of public shaming, we stand with you, Badger Herald....

Big Ben Successfully Keeps His Brains From Leaking Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
In anticipation of the Steelers visiting the Ravens this evening, someone in Baltimore gallantly took the extra step of emblazoning an Inner Harbor roadwork sign with an anti-rape mantra. Good stuff. This'll be ugly tonight....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Yet again, a weak slate of games. So, here are four somewhat-relevant questions for amusement purposes only......

Cam Newton's "Juice" Is "A Little Sweet" For Sideline Reporter's Taste
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Late Games Open Thread
That excitement you feel in the air wherever it is you are is the ACC Championship game between No. 21 Florida State and No. 15 Virginia Tech and the Big 12 Championship between No. 9 Oklahoma and No. 13 Nebraska....

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Snoop Dogg And Waffle House Found One Another
Snoop Dogg posed a question to his Twitter fam just before 11 a.m.: Denny's or Waffle House? Two hours later, Waffle House was a trending topic....

Your Duke/Butler And Other College Basketball Games Open Thread
Butler gets a rematch with Duke. Any person with a shred of dignity wants Duke to lose. On the court (which they most certainly won't today) and in every facet of life. Fact....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
With only 16 Division 1-A games on the slate, only two open threads are needed today. This one's for contests like BCS-deciding Oregon at Oregon State, SEC title game between Auburn vs. South Carolina and Rutgers at West Virginia....

There Was A Damn Good Ending To A Football Game That Damn Near Nobody Watched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gene Chizik Talks For 20 Minutes And Doesn't Mention Cam Newton Once
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chizik pleads the fifth on anything we actually want to know....

Heat Strokes, Game 20: In Which We're Reminded That LeBron Is Not A Dick
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
