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Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
The Giants heading to Minnesota was probably the most interesting game of this batch. But then, it snowed. Thank Jebus the fantasy playoffs start this week....

Were The Alleged Kissing Ladies At The Nebraska/TCU Game Trying To Send The World A Message?
Nebraska's basketball beat TCU 70-56 yesterday [ESPN]. Afterwards, there was some rough-housing in the TCU locker room [Star-Telegram]. Both irrelevant. What's relevant is an email from tipster Quinn that arrived at 7:43 p.m. yesterday....

Linus Omark's Flashy First NHL Goal Drew A "Youngblood" Comparison
Linus Omark played his first NHL game Friday. And in that first game, he not only took a penalty shot, but he pulled a spin-o-rama and scored the game-winning penalty shot....

Even Back Hair Performance Art Couldn't Save Appalachian State Football
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Cam Newton Heisman Coronation Open Thread
Around 8 p.m., University of Oregon running back LaMichael James, Stanford University quarterback Andrew Luck and Boise State University quarterback Kellen Moore will all lose the Heisman Memorial Trophy to Auburn's Cam Newton....

Your Army/Navy Game Open Thread
Yep, it's the only Division 1-A college football game going today and you're totally wondering how the game ball got to the stadium, right?...

"Sick" Jon Heyman Impersonator Infuriates "Real" Jon Heyman With Greinke-To-Phillies Ruse
Seems as if a Philadelphia blogger started a Hot Stove frenzy last night by Tweeting that the Phillies and Royals worked out a deal for Zack Greinke while cyber-costumed as Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman....

Despite Snub, Cam Newton Still Loves His Dad
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

My 2003 Interview With Fred Phelps Of The Westboro Baptist Church
The Westboro Baptist Church will be disrupting the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards this weekend. Here's an interview I did with Pastor Phelps right before he and his church were headed to Pittsburgh to protest poor Mr. Rogers' funeral. [TheMightyBlackTable]...

Wilson Chandler's Tooth Almost Ended David Lee's Career
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: David Lee's owie could have been much worse....

Cockblocked By Skidmarks!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

And Here's An 11-Year-Old Dunking
And yes, that's a regulation rim. Adrian Moore is in seventh grade, which means he won't even start college until 2016. Assuming he's not already playing for money somewhere in Europe next year. [Prep Rally, h/t Ryanosaurus Rex]...

Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...

CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joba Chamberlain Had The Best Winter Meetings Of Any Yankee
Chamberlain's living it up at Disney World as we speak, and the husky manchild appears to have made a new friend....

Heat Strokes, Game 23: The Splendors Of Boredom
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

A Brief List Of Terrible Things That Recently Happened To Joggers
Via Runner's World: They've been hit by buckshot; shot by hunters; shot in the foot; attacked by pitbulls, packs of dogs, owls, men, and union members; run down by Cadillacs and struck by RAV 4s; finding dead bodies; and Kim Kardashian. [RWDaily]...

Andrei Kirilenko Hasn't Cashed In His Adultery Allowance Yet
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: AK-47 only drinks his own milkshake....

Antoine Walker Airballs Free Throw, Nails Metaphor In D-League Debut
Flat broke, Walker signed a low-5-figure deal with the Idaho Stampede. He scored 13 in his debut last night, but we think this shot is a more appropriate highlight. [h/t Dan]...