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"Just Put The Fucking Pizza In The Fucking Oven": LSU Girl Freaks Out At Papa John's
One of America's future leaders has had it up to here with her pizza taking so long. Bonus: fellow student pulls the "hold me back, bro" move while pretending to want to fight her....

The Miami Heat's Bus Is Actually Named LeBus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

An Update On The 2007 Study That Found That NBA Referees Are Kind Of Racist
In 2007, two economists released a study arguing that in NBA seasons from 1991 to 2004, white referees called more fouls against black players than against white players, and the NBA got angry. On Wednesday, TrueHoop's Henry Abbott broke down the story....

Rex Ryan Takes His Butt-Whupping
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: what it's like to be the "3" in 45-3....

Deadspin Classic: The 2008 New York Jets Preview, By Jenn Sterger
The NFL has shipped off its report about Brett Favre's penis to Roger Goodell (more later), but, for now, let's look back on how this all began: with the 2008 Jets preview Jenn wrote for us, and which I'd completely forgotten about....

Searching For...Peerless Price
An attorney by the name of W. Anthony Collins has called on the I-Team to help locate the former Vols/Bills/Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys wide receiver. He's vanished, you see....

Heat Strokes, Game 22: We Are All Hostages
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....

Albert Haynesworth Can Totally Explain, You Guys
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the soon-to-be unemployed Haynesworth addresses this....

Coach Who Hoped For Butt-Whupping Declares Loss His Career's Biggest Butt-Whupping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Adam Dunn Is Probably Going To End Up Strangling Ozzie Guillen
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Adam Dunn on his new city and his new coach....

Heat Strokes, Game 21: The Meeting Is The Message
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The NFL's Helmet-To-Helmet Rules Are Absolutely Pointless
Heath Miller sustained a concussion on a brutal helmet-to-helmet hit from Baltimore's Jameel McClain. This is what the NFL's trying to prevent. They're doing a damn shitty job....

ESPN Launches Site For Women
espnW launched today, the worldwide leader's new site for the ladies. Go take a look and report back with your findings....

Wisconsin Student Paper Names, Shames Students Re-Selling Rose Bowl Tickets
The Badger Herald is pissed off, and taking names. Well, listing names. The names of UW students who snapped up coveted Rose Bowl tickets, and are attempting to scalp them. As strong proponents of public shaming, we stand with you, Badger Herald....

Big Ben Successfully Keeps His Brains From Leaking Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
In anticipation of the Steelers visiting the Ravens this evening, someone in Baltimore gallantly took the extra step of emblazoning an Inner Harbor roadwork sign with an anti-rape mantra. Good stuff. This'll be ugly tonight....
