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The Best, Most Deranged Story About Gwar You'll Ever Read
There are band profiles and there are Gwar profiles and then there's this: The first part of J. Bennett's monstrous, satisfyingly disturbing Gwar piece, "Slay Bells," is after the jump, courtesy of Decibel. Prepare for words that haunt....

Boomshakalakaexpialidocious
That's right, the backboard-shattering, early-'90s arcade dunkfest known as NBA JAM is back. Now, with Sarah Palin, headbands, and new game modes, plus, old pal Grandmama. In case you were wondering, Mr. Boomshakala himself has been keeping busy by name-checking Deadspin....

Ray Lewis Wants To Snuggie With You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Matt Schaub And The Texans Poop The Bed Once Again
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schaub's second half doesn't absolve an OT pick-six....

Heat Strokes, Game 26: LeBron James And The End Times
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Last Night's Winner: The Mystery Team
For 35 years, as long as free agency has existed in Major League Baseball, the Mystery Team has made a run at every single available player. But they'd never actually signed one until last night....

This Texans Fan Had The Best Pick On National Television Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cliff Lee Is Going Back To Philly
Cliff Lee has reportedly turned down both the Yankees and the Rangers and will once again play for the Philadelphia Phillies next season. Lee, Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels: it will be quite the starting rotation. [Jon Heyman's Twitter]...

Here's Your "Let's Consider Every Pick Tonight To Be A Favre Tribute" MNF Open Thread
A deserving young man named Tarvaris Jackson is finally getting a start for Minnesota, and Eli Manning has already tossed two commemorative interceptions to the Vikings. In Detroit this evening, the giving Christmas spirit is alive and well....

Something Officially Went Down At Iowa
ESPN reports that two of Iowa's running backs will not play in the Insight Bowl. The Hawkeyes suspended sophomore Adam Robinson for "failing to comply with team expectations and policies," and sophomore Jewel Hampton left the team on his own volition....

Heat Strokes, Games 24 & 25: Showtime
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

It's Just A Matter Of Time Before John Elway's Back With The Broncos
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Elway puts his name out there....

Deadspin Classic: Bill Simmons Is Not The Cosmos (<em>The Book Of Basketball</em> Reviewed)
The paperback edition of Bill Simmons's Book of Basketball is now in stores, and reader Patrick Sauer points out one notable tweak to this version: Charles P. Pierce's name no longer appears anywhere in the text. You don't suppose it has anything to do with Pierce's review of the book, do you?...

Hacked Comment Questions: Come Here, Speak Up
Some of you have emailed or g-chatted with concerns that the system still won't enable you to change your passwords. This, I am told, is being investigated by the brave Tech Team. Go to Gizmodo for updates on most questions....

The Pleasures Of Watching Large Men Punch Each Other Very Hard
NEWARK — It's easy to see why people love heavyweight boxing. The size of the fighters, their power, their comforting, worship-worthy superhumanity. A good heavyweight fight is awe-inspiring. But first, you have to find two good heavyweights....

Weekend Winner: Unexpected Stadium Destructo-Porn
FOX's video of the Metrodome bubble collapsing is some of the most visually arresting footage we've seen in a long time. How did they get it? A tip that the roof was going to cave in, of course....

Bob Costas Has His <em>Am I Normal?</em> Moment
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Indiana Man Selling "Racist Soaps" Doesn't Have Time For "You Politically Correct People"
An Indiana shopkeeper stands accused of selling racist soaps. Gary DeWester, the merchant, says they're "nostalgic" and representative of "American history." He keeps them in his "joke drawer."...

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Patriots at Chicago. Chiefs at Chargers. Other stuff, like Woody Paige whining about Tebow not getting a start today. Enjoy....
