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Gene Keady's Giant Head Is Rated TV-14
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....

The Final Hours Before Selection Sunday
• A grand anniversary. • Tommy Bowden, not always so nice. • Welcome back, Battlebots. • When sleds attack. • Mark Cuban has all kinds of confusing rules. • Man, Felix Pie. • Hey, UNC beat Duke. • Enjoying Billy Crystal. For once. • Daulerio returns. (With Bill Conlin!) • Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob....

Manning Vs. Brady, Round II
OK, I might see Tom Brady wearing Ermenegildo Zegna clothing, but Eli Manning, I don't think so. Isn't he more of a Miller's Outpost kind of guy? Anyway, they were both on hand for the big Zegna store opening in Manhattan on Thursday, or so we are led to believe. Mr. Manning here actually looks very...

Did You Drink And Dial?
Listen, man. You're our friend, and we know you care about us. And we know you disapprove, and we respect that. But there are some things that we have to do that you don't understand. You understand literature, movies, wine ... but you don't understand our plight....

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....

George Mason Would Make The Final Four, If It Knew Where It Was
You might think it somewhat presumptive that George Mason, fresh off its Colonial Athletic League title, would already be printing Final Four T-shirts. (Act like you've been there before, people! Oh ... wait ...) But if they were to do so, one would think they've at least have the Final Four's right...

High Tech Underpants For The Sportsman On The Go
For those of you who are planning to take advantage of that NCAA Tournament vasectomy special we mentioned over the weekend, you're surely gonna need a pair of these for your recovery period. I own several pair, and I'm not even considering surgery....

Bring Back The Fightin' Christians!
So here's an underdog story that makes all others look wan and thirsty by comparison. Elon University — which as you know is in North Carolina — is one win from making it to the NCAA Division I Tournament. This despite sporting a 14-18 record, having a student population of just 5,000 students, and ...

Sign The Man Up To Play Third Base
Of all the teams whose spring trainings John Daly might visit, we have to say, it makes a certain amount of sense that he would drop by Phillies camp. As Bugs & Cranks points out, he doesn't look that much different than John Kruk, circa 1993....

Go From A 16 Seed To A No Seed
MVN Outsider points to a snippy (tee hee) promotion that ensures that if, you know, you're a fella who wants an excuse to watch the entire NCAA Tournament and also is interested in rendering himself sterile, you needn't wait until after the tourney....

Chad Johnson Is A Punching Fool
Ocho Cinco gives you the ol' uno-dos [SportsWrap]...

They Hate Each Other And We Hate Them
The night before the series finale of The Wire, it's great to be treated to the whitest spectacle in college basketball, UNC versus Duke. The ACC regular season title is on the line for the fifth time in the series' history, which means the Cameron Crazies will have their rote chant sheets ready wit...

Life Of Miguel Tejada Not So Bad
Despite being named in the Mitchell Report, having his older brother die in a motorcycle accident in January and dealing with a reality where being dealt to the Astros is an upgrade, Miguel Tejada can't really curse the heavens just yet. After all, he's still married to the stunning Alejandra, who i...

The Dregs Of Early March
• We returned from vacation. • See ya, Favre. • Fun with George Karl's lawyer. • Poor Felix Pie. • Yipes, Ministry. • Life as a scout is a sad, scary thing. • Juan Gonzalez! • Greatest Highlight! • Four square! • It can't be fun to broadcast a marathon. • The end of the Sonics. • ESPN tests are hard...

The More You Drive, The Less Intelligent You Are
A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' s...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that the New York Times must have laid off some headline oversight editors ... • College basketball: Connecticut at Providence (7 p.m., ET), Xavier at Saint Joseph's (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Clemson at Georgia Tech (7 p.m., ET), Michigan State at Illinois (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2...

Your Feeble Skills Are No Match For This Man
On Sunday in New York, Tyler Hinman successfully completed the puzzle shown above to capture his fourth straight American Crossword Puzzle Tournament championship, which makes him the Tiger Woods of crossword puzzles, according to one writer. But more importantly, what's a 'wisesupto?' Is that thre...

Introducing The Deadspin Beijing Bureau
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to announce that we have our own Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everyt...