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Toronto Raptors Fans Disperse In Panic After Reports Of Shots Fired At Championship Parade
The ceremonies after today’s championship parade for the Toronto Raptors were halted this afternoon after reports of shots fired near Bay Street and Albert Street, at the southeast part of Nathan Phillips Square, where the rally was being held....
Commissioner For A Day: Let's Bring Back NASL-Style Shootouts
The original North American Soccer League was a glorious, goofy experiment in American sports history. It burned white-hot during its brief 17 season existence; mostly thanks to the high-profile singings of legitimate soccer legends like Johan Cruyff, Franz Beckenbauer, George Best, and Pelé, but al...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>The Garfield Show</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
The Yankees Added Another Bomber To The Bronx With Edwin Encarnación
The New York Yankees acquired American League home run leader Edwin Encarnación from the Seattle Mariners on Saturday for cash considerations and pitching prospect Juan Then, continuing the trend that the Lakers set a couple hours earlier of a historically hated franchise making a major roster impro...
Brett Hull Drunkenly Encourages St. Louis Crowd To Start A "We Went Blues" Chant
The annual tradition of hockey players attempting to stretch the physical limits of their livers continued today in St. Louis with the Blues parading the Stanley Cup throughout the city amongst a raucous fan base. While there were plenty of clips of hockey players drinking the way hockey players ten...
Ah Shit, The Lakers Are Good Again
My god, they did it. Those absolute madmen actually did it....
If You Think About It, The 76ers Might As Well Have Won The NBA Title
Whew! What an NBA Finals that was. The Warriors and Raptors played six incredibly entertaining games, and a team winning its first NBA title by vanquishing the Warriors dynasty makes it all extra memorable. For once, Toronto’s streets are swarmed by humans celebrating a title and not hordes of racco...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Don't Really Know Which Way To Go
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Onward....
Real Madrid Are Spending Big To Strike Fear Once Again
Three managers in one season; a distant third place in La Liga; an early come-from-ahead Champions League exit; the continued ignominy of paying Gareth Bale’s massive wages. The 2018-19 season was not a good one for Real Madrid, who saw their streak of three straight (and four out of the last five)...
What The Hell Was Brad Marchand Doing On The Game-Winning Goal?
Brad Marchand does a lot of stupid shit, but usually not like this. Sure, he’s constantly trash-talking, poking, licking his opponents, trying to get a rise out of them through the simplest and pettiest ways possible. But Marchand’s dumb moment in Game 7 didn’t serve any larger purpose for himself o...
Javy Baez Settles Dumb, Escalating Plunk-Off By Socking A Mighty Four-Bagger
The Colorado Rockies and Chicago Cubs wrapped up their season series Wednesday with a good old-fashioned plunk-fest. The Cubs paid back a day-old plunking imbalance by targeting Colorado’s best hitter, and the Rockies buzzed and/or plunked three different Cubs. The good news is, just as it was getti...
Naturally Integrate Me Into A Hole, Please
Because you’re normal, you probably did not read a Q&A with Ringer CEO Bill Simmons that was published yesterday. Bear with me for a moment, though, and take a look at the final question and answer, concerning The Ringer’s ad partnerships:...
Rich Paul Sits Down For Long <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Profile Just To Tell The Celtics To Screw
Sports Illustrated has published a long profile of NBA agent and LeBron James confidant Rich Paul, who is probably the most famous agent in sports right now given his involvement in the Anthony Davis trade saga. It’s about as compelling as a long story about a sports agent can possibly be, but it’s ...
The USWNT's Blowout Of Thailand Inspires Indignant Pearl-Clutching From Canadian Soccer Pundits
A self-serious, chiding, in all likelihood jealous quartet of talking heads went on Canadian TV yesterday and, in discussing what they characterized as the “disgraceful” way the USWNT went about trouncing Thailand in the Women’s World Cup, proceeded to hump the notion of sportsmanship to within an i...
Home Plate Umpire Takes A Backswing To The Head In Nationals-White Sox
For the second week in a row, the home plate umpire at a Washington Nationals game has suffered a wound in a freak accident. Last Tuesday umpire Mike Everitt took a 95-mph fastball directly to the chest and eventually had to leave the game. Tonight umpire Chad Whitson had his head gashed open by th...
Which Of These Two Battered Pitchers Suffered The More Humiliating Sequence?
Phillies pitcher Jerad Eickhoff got the rudest of welcomes in his start Monday night in Philadelphia, against the Arizona Diamondbacks. A first-pitch leadoff home run is deflating; allowing back-to-back leadoff dingers is downright demoralizing; serving up back-to-back-to-back taters to open up a st...
Dominic Thiem Got Closer, But Rafael Nadal Still Stepped On Him
Last year, in the first major final of his life, Dominic Thiem just seemed happy to be there. Flattened by a Rafael Nadal charging toward his 11th French Open title? That builds character. A dusty tennis great heartlessly roasting you at the trophy ceremony? Whatever, no shame in being outmatched....
Canada Will Try (And Probably Fail) To Win It All For Christine Sinclair
Christine Sinclair is still doing it. By the time Canada play their second game at the 2019 World Cup, their captain will be 36 years old, and she will still be the team’s most important player. Sitting just three career goals away from tying Abby Wambach’s international record of 184, the legendary...
Commissioner For A Day: Let’s Have More Indirect Free Kicks In The Box
One quirk of soccer is that the rules of the game change when the ball is in the box. Not massively, but in one small and crucial way: Because a foul in the box is punished with a penalty, things that would be fouls anywhere else on the field are occasionally just not called in the box....