ah Page 439 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Cartoon Re-Imagining Of The Elway/Noah Steam Room Meeting
Remember that whole thing about John Elway and Joakim Noah sharing a steam room? Yeah, well, here's an awkward cartoon re-enactment....

Cam Newton's "Juice" Is "A Little Sweet" For Sideline Reporter's Taste
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LeBronageddon Is Upon Us
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joakim Noah Went Into A Steam Room With John Elway And Lived To Tell The Tale
During the Bulls annual "Circus Trip," two important events took place that may chart the course for the rest of the team's season: they shared Thanksgiving dinner together as a team, and Joakim Noah shared a hotel steam room with John Elway....

Welp, We're Never Going Swimming Again
An underwater viewing window at a high school pool shattered, sucking a student and an instructor through the broken glass. The student remains hospitalized, but I think we're all traumatized for having read this. [Channel 3000, h/t ArkansasFred]...

Sidney Crosby And NHL Special Treatment: Much A-Slew About Nothing?
Last night, Ryan Callahan and Sidney Crosby were jostling for position. Crosby appeared to kick Callahan's skate out from under him. That's called a slew foot, and it's illegal. Callahan was called for interference....

The Newest Saga In The Sad Story Of Broke Antoine Walker Brings Us To The D-League
There was a time when Antoine Walker was every Celtics fan's second-favorite player. How our fortunes change. Six months after filing for personal bankruptcy, Walker is reportedly joining the Idaho Stampede — assuming he passes a routine background check....

Russell Westbrook Posterizes Shane Battier With Vicious Slam
Midway through last night's Thunder-Rockets game, Kevin Durant swung the ball out to Russell Westbrook who drove straight to the hoop and elevated for a dunk that straight embarrassed alleged defensive maestro Shane Battier....

Yeah, This Is The Best Interception We've Ever Seen
While most of the country was being treated to a meaningless Notre Dame-USC game, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State had themselves a barn burner. Unseen by most of the country? This gem: a tag-team interception by State's Broderick Brown and Shaun Lewis....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Brigham Young faces Utah for the last time as conference foes....

Everybody's Working For The (Long) Weekend
I'm betting a large number of you are reading this from your office, thanks to some asshole boss who doesn't see why you should have the day off when 90 percent of the rest of the world does. Let's commiserate....

Ducks Forward's Empty-Netter Seals Game (For The Oilers)
Anaheim's Corey Perry was just trying to set up a teammate in front of the net as the clocked ticked down. Instead, he ended up committing one of the biggest goofs in recent memory....

Isiah Thomas Is Still Delusional
On his sexual harassment lawsuit: ''[E]veryone else was found liable for contributing to a hostile work environment. I wasn't ordered to pay anything.'' [Sun-Times]...

Someone Wants To Sell Us A Photo Of Hippie-Hater Ricky Stanzi Smoking Pot
Ricky Stanzi loves America. Loves it. A profile of his red-white-and-blue heart dropped today, revealing how much he hates communists and hippies. Also in our inbox today: someone claiming to have a picture of Stanzi partaking of the hippie leaf....

Omaha Royals Change Team Name To Storm Chasers; Ensure Lameness With Promo Video
In what could prove to be the year's second-worst re-branding effort, the Omaha Royals announced today that they will now be known as the Storm Chasers. The promotional video almost makes it all pathetically endearing, but mostly it's just pathetic....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....

Last Night's Winner: Saying N-O To Lingerie Football In OKC
Sorry Oklahoma City. If you want to watch a bunch of struggling models play a loose simulacrum of football, you'll just have to watch it on TV like everybody nobody else....

IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...

NFL Pension Decided By Bigamy Laws
A judge ruled that the pension for former Eagles RB Tom Sullivan goes to his first wife rather than his second, because he didn't bother divorcing in between. This is why Vegas and Utah will never get pro teams. [Tribune]...

Ugly Pot Calls Ugly Kettle Ugly
Joakim Noah says Kevin Garnett is "ugly."...