ale Page 183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chaco Giménez Shoots From Goddamn Jupiter, Scores
If Alessandro Florenzi’s wondergoal in September came from Mars, Chaco Giménez’s strike from even further out can only be described as originating from the next planet back....
Stupid Little Piece Of Metal Bounces Valencia Youth Team From Tournament
Valencia and Chelsea met today in the UEFA Youth League, which is basically the Kiddie Champions League. The Round of 16 match came down to penalties, and Chelsea were declared winners after scoring all five of their spot kicks. Problem is, Valencia never actually missed any of their penalties, eith...
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Sorry, Edin Džeko, But The Post Can't Explain How You Missed That Wide-Open Net
“Post, baby, how are you gonna do me like that?” Roma’s Edin Džeko appears to whisper to the goal’s woodwork after his horrendous miss. “You know I love you, Edin,” the post probably responded, “but that’s all on you.”...
Sad Dale Jr. Fan Is Sad
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Aritz Aduriz Thumps The Bejesus Out Of Ball, Scores From Way Too Far Out
If you ever wanted to know how hard one could kick a soccer ball and yet still maintain the necessary control to steer it goalwards, this volleyed goal Athletic Club’s Aritz Aduriz just scored is a good case study:...
Reports: Tennessee Football Player Arrested For Punching, Choking Woman
Tennessee defensive tackle Alexis Johnson—a junior college transfer who enrolled in January—was arrested Wednesday night and is currently being held in Knox County jail on a 12-hour hold, according to jail records. The Chattanooga Times Free Press obtained the arrest report, and report that Johnson ...
The U.S. Olympic Marathon Team: BFFs, A Woman With A Plan, The Hero, Rupp, And A Guy Named Jared
The Olympic Marathon Trials have been tried and decided. By finishing in the top three, your 2016 Olympic marathoners are Galen Rupp, Meb Keflezighi and Jared Ward on the men’s side, and Amy Cragg, Des Linden, and Shalane Flanagan on the women’s. Should one of those Mister or Miss Americas be unable...
Mike Muscala Is Not A Good Rapper
TNT has added a talent show to its NBA All-Star Weekend coverage, and the Atlanta Hawks’ entry came from Mike Muscala, who demonstrated his “skills” on the mic. It was less than impressive....
Just Go Ahead And Trip That Guy
Deliberate tripping in basketball is usually something done away from the play, out of sight from referees whose focus is on something else. This is not one of those examples. Here’s Winston Salem State guard C.J. Ford, whose frustration got the best of him during today’s blowout at the hands of Fay...
The Melbourne Derby Was Wild As Hell
Early reports out of Australia have last night’s/this morning’s Melbourne Derby down as one of the greatest ever meetings between Melbourne City and Melbourne Victory, and the tape backs that up, inasmuch as it’s the only A-League I’ve ever watched, and there were some good highlights....
The Things You Don't See At The Olympic Marathon Trials Are The Most Interesting
I had just dragged ass into the JW Marriott in downtown Los Angeles—race headquarters for the Olympic Marathon Trials—and got in the elevator with Des Linden. She is one of, if not the, favorites in today’s race to determine the Rio team. Linden came up to my shoulder, the size of many 10-year-olds,...
Alex Ovechkin Had A Hat Trick In One Period
The Washington Capitals are the first NHL team to get 40 wins this season, after a 4-3 win over the slumping Minnesota Wild Thursday night. Alex Ovechkin was the reason why....
The Only Valentine's Day Message I Need
This Sunday morning, as I do on every Valentine’s Day, I will wake up to a message from my mother. Last year, it was a long email sent at an ungodly early hour, carrying all of her usual, heartfelt, holiday-appropriate sentiments: “Today is not only about boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives but...
This Spanish Teen's Flop Makes A Strong Case That Diving Should Be Punishable By Death
Most dives are fine. Some dives are bad. But few dives are so egregious that you skip over the whole “Should the player get a yellow for that?” logic and instead head right to the barn for the pitchfork. Valencia youth teamer David Pascual pulled off one of those:...
Evander Kane And Alex Petrovic Fought Three Times In One Game
Sabres winger Evander Kane and Panthers defenseman Alex Petrovic dropped the gloves three times in Tuesday’s game. The two fought twice in the second period and once in the third....
GOP Candidates Offer Super Bowl Predictions In Meaningless, Waste-Of-Time Debate Question
Tonight’s GOP primary debate in New Hampshire has succeeded despite itself as candidates attack each other while ABC moderators stand by, barely acknowledging their non-answers to the question prompts. One of those questions? “Who’s going to win tomorrow’s Super Bowl?” (None of the candidates offere...
Oh My God, A Chinese Club Just Bought Alex Teixeira For €50 Million
What is going on here???...
Documents: Mets Owners' Real Estate Fund Was $300 Million In The Hole This Past June
The owners of the New York Mets are no strangers to financial calamity. After losing $550 million in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme and paying out $80 million to settle a lawsuit claiming they were in on the scheme, Fred and Jeff Wilpon managed to keep their team by taking out loans and slashing payro...
Sergey Kovalev Quacks At Adonis "Chickenson," Who Then Comes After Kovalev
Sergey Kovalev battered Jean Pascal in retaining his three light heavyweight belts tonight in Montreal, but the Russian wasn’t content to stop landing blows after Pascal’s trainer Freddie Roach threw in the towel after the seventh round. Kovalev brought up the failed attempts at unifying the light h...