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Never Hook Up In A Bunk Bed
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Aw, Cheer Up, Guy Who Wore A Big Bear Hand To The Alamo Bowl
Your morning roundup for Dec. 30, the day today just disappeared. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Michael Floyd's Champs Sports Bowl Catch Was An Exquisite Juggling Exhibition
The first half of the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando was a bore, but Notre Dame receiver Michael Floyd spiced things up with this juggling TD grab early in the second half, a catch that put the Irish up 14-0 on the sputtering Florida State Seminoles. [ESPN]...

Deadspin Up All Night: Utter Away
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Might as well go gentle into this good night....

A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....
![Columnist Calls Former OU Coach A "Slapdick" Hired "Because He Was Black," Doesn't Realize He's Being Recorded [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Columnist Calls Former OU Coach A "Slapdick" Hired "Because He Was Black," Doesn't Realize He's Being Recorded [UPDATE]
After yesterday's Fiesta Bowl press conference for Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Bill Young, Tulsa World columnist Dave Sittler did what a lot of reporters often do once the cameras and microphones are turned off and the interview subject hasn't yet bolted for the lunch spread. Sittler enga...

Deadspin Up All Night: Meet You At The <em>Rainbow Bridge</em>
Thank you for continued support of Deadspin. Far out....

Break Out The Flat Top: Greg Ostertag Is Making A Comeback In The D-League
Without cheating, guess how long Greg Ostertag has been retired? It was only five years ago, when an out-of-shape Ostertag was playing limited minutes behind Mehmet Okur and mentoring a young Kris Humphries. But it's been even longer since he was effective, and longer than that since he played for a...

LaMichael James Rides Space Mountain Roller Coaster, Looks Completely Terrified
Your morning roundup for Dec. 28, the day we learned they're onto us. Photo courtesy Kegs 'N Eggs, via Larry Brown Sports. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Erie, Pa. High-School Coach Takes On "Boy Lovers" And "Selfish Pig" Girlfriends In Email Rant
Chet Moffett (right, collecting trash) is the cross-country coach at Cathedral Preparatory School in Erie, Pa. He's also a guidance counselor. And just last week, he was totally pissed off about the lack of fan support for Prep's basketball team in its 51-46 loss to General McLane High. Or as he re...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Hope the Christmas weekend treated erbody from altar boys lucky enough to grab the Mass that lands a big tip to nihilists who torched candy canes on principle (or lack thereof) well. This week's roundup, as expected, was littered with some holiday imagery. Like Mark J.C.'s, who sent this "Merry Xma...

Deadspin Up All Night: Gab
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. You're all great....

"I'm Not Coaching After 2017!" Rick Pitino Prematurely Ejaculates
Rick Pitino announced today that he will stop coaching once his Louisville contract runs out after the 2016-17 season: "When you're 59, you're realistic that you don't have a whole lot of years left," Pitino said at a news conference before the No. 4 Cardinals play Georgetown on Wednesday. "My contr...

30 Paragraphs About 30 Teams From The Basketball Prospectus Guide To The Truncated NBA Season
The following is an abridged preview of an abridged NBA season, culled from the team chapters of the ever-incisive Pro Basketball Prospectus. Buy the book as a PDF for $9.98. ...

MLB's New Security Chief, A Former SF Giant, Once Denied Monica Lewinsky Entry To The Oval Office
It's weird to think about MLB executives doing anything other than MLB-executive-ing. I can't think of Bud Selig cutting timber, for example. But a story in the Washington Post introduces us to Bill Bordley, the league's new chief of security, who pitched for the Giants before joining the Secret Ser...

Sean Williams Left It All On The Floor Tonight
The Mavericks' Sean Williams made the most of his 11 minutes in a 115-93 loss to Denver—the forward, who spent all of last season in the D-League, tallied 12 points—but it was his performance after returning to the bench that brought his teammates to their feet....

ESPN's <em>Monday Night Football</em> Intro Featured Betty White Talking About How Hot Matt Ryan Is
ESPN's been slowing scraping the bottom of the barrel since jettisoning Hank Williams, Jr., and this holiday-themed Betty White intro was less funny than weird. What, the usual New Orleans staples of zydeco and Cafe Du Monde weren't available? ...

Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
There are various playoff permutations in play, plus two loaded teams meeting in the last game of most leagues' fantasy championships. It's Atlanta at New Orleans on ESPN, and the comments are the place to be....

Deadspin Up All Night: Twang Time
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Get back to work....

Mizzou And North Carolina Will Be Competing For This Broken Trophy
This is what the Independence Bowl trophy used to look like. Now it's a crystal shard on a tiered base. [via Twitter]...