all Page 1881 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dick Vitale Heralds The Start Of The College Basketball Season By Yelling At You For A While
Midnight Madness—the annual tradition in which college students get drunk and riled up to go watch their basketball teams perform skits and windmill dunks in anticipation of getting drunk and riled up to go watch their basketball teams play basketball—is tonight!...
Shitty <i>MNF</i> Game To Be Matched In Shittiness Only By Shitty <i>MNF</i> Intro
Doing a new one every week could be a good thing. Detroit! Blue collar town. Oh look, there's Barry Sanders! So what does the New York metropolitan area get for Monday's suckfest against the Dolphins? Fireman Ed, and "the passion and loyalty of the fan base." [Newsday]...
Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...
Local Girl Scouts Will Have A Pajama Party At Cowboys Stadium, Which Is Apparently Different From A Tony Romo Start
Tipster Patrick sends along notice that there will be the first ever PJ party on the Cowboys Stadium field this evening, beginning at 6 p.m. Dallas time....
MLB Is Sending A Very Sad All-Star Team To Taiwan
MLB has a tradition of sending a band of all-stars to the East after the season ends—to the MLB-Japan All-Star Series, for example. This year the great stars of MLB are headed to Taiwan for a three-game series with the Chinese Taipei national team. Wait a second, these are terrible stars!...
All Involved In The Vancouver Riots Can Turn Themselves In And Get A Free Massage Or Manicure
Vancouver-area spa empire Eccotique has announced its "Calm Down and De-Stress" promotion, whereby participants in June's Vancouver riots can earn a $50 gift certificate for turning themselves to the Vancouver Police Department....
Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"
Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind ...
Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know
Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according t...
SprtsCntr: Tony Romo Gets Petulant; Plus, More Wisdom From Eduardo Perez
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Tony Romo Boldly Predicts That The Cowboys Will Win A Super Bowl "At Some Point"
There was Namath, there was Ryan, and then there was Romo: "This team is going to win a Super Bowl at some point. It's going to be exciting when that time comes." Smart move here. You really can't go wrong when your deadline is some time between now and, say, the apocalypse. [PFT]...
Wisconsin Would Prefer Its Student Season-Ticket Holders Knock It Off With The Vulgar Chants
In a letter addressed to all "UW Student Season Ticket Holders," University of Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez and Head Football Coach Bret Bielema were sure to point out that "singing 'Buttercup' and 'Sweet Caroline' [during the Nebraska game] was fantastic." Which it surely was....
When They Came For The Trumpet Player In Section J, Blue Hens Fans Spoke Up
There’s some trouble a’brewing down in Newark, Del., home of the mighty University of Delaware Fighting Blue Hens. Seems as if during Saturday night’s game against William & Mary, some university lawmen strode all the way up to Row Q of Section J to escort trumpet-tooter Matt Delaney from the premi...
A Not-At-All Homoerotic Tribute To Shoulder Pads
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
"Radiohead Wouldn't Play In The Big East Either": Occupy Wall Street Has An "Occupy Herbstreit" Photobomber
A brilliant human has launched a Tumblr called "Occupy Herbstreit," which features photos of an anonymous photobomber among the protesters in lower Manhattan, holding College GameDay-inspired signs overhead. Here's a sampling....
Italian Club Invokes MLK In Letter Begging Obama To Send Kobe Over
Just over a week ago, the Italian basketball club Virtus Bologna reported that it was working "very intensely" with Kobe Bryant's representatives to bring the Lakers star overseas during the NBA lockout. There were multiple points at which it was "almost a done deal." This week, the almost-done-deal...
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Bye-Week Wrestling Extravaganza
The mighty Knox City Greyhounds scrapped back to within a game of .500 on this roller coaster of a season with a resounding 56-8 over pathetic Vernon Northside. It wasn't all lollypops and unicorns, superfan Chad McGhee reported earlier today, though....
Chad Ochocinco Hopes You'll Be Patient If He's On Your Fantasy Football Team
After five games, New England Patriots wide receiver has caught nine passes for a total of 136 yards. Somehow, this ties into the time he lost his virginity....
The Cam Newton/Auburn Saga Farts To A 105-Word End
The NCAA has completed its investigation:...
A Short, Strange Lesson In NHL Economics, With Professor Sean Avery
Yesterday, Minnesota placed winger Eric Nystrom on waivers. The Wild clearly wanted to move his $1.4 million salary, and any player picked up on waivers gets split between his old and new teams. So at a more palatable $700,000...there were still no takers for Nystrom....