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Nick Saban Was A Dick To Will Muschamp's Poor Mother
With college football—nay, SEC football— arriving this weekend, and without great expectations for the Gators, it's time for the Palm Beach Post to stoke our football interest by apprising us of blood feuds....

Arian Foster Really Does Not Care About Your Fantasy Team
Foster, last season's rushing champion, tweaked his left hamstring in last night's 49ers-Texans preseason game. He hurt the same hamstring earlier in camp. He appreciates your concern about his semitendinosus, unless you are concerned simply because of your fantasy team....

This Week In Non-Hurricane Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Just because one part of the country is getting rainy and windy and floody and scaredy and buy-y milky and bready becausey of hypey — translation: chock full of hurricane dong — the other unintentional-dong submissions should not lose their inherent import....

Youth Football Coach Gets Tased Three Times After Choking A Kid, Police Find A Lot Of Ammo In His Car
Here's how Corriher-Lipe Middle School head football coach Douglas Pruitt explains what happened between assistant coach Jared Gallagher and a 12-year-old player this week in Rowan County, N.C.:...

Here Are A Few Hurricane Dong Submissions, One Weather Channel Real-Dong Photobomb And A Hurricane Nipple
Make no mistake about it: National Hurricane Center Deputy Director Ed Rappaport set a very high bar for Hurricane Irene dong submissions. In fact, tipster Brian simply wrote, "The end."...

Brandon Davies's Sexual Punishment Has Officially Ended While Jimmer's Has Just Begun
BYU announced yesterday that it reinstated Brandon Davies to its basketball team and to engage in its academic offerings. He'd been suspended since March for an "honor code violation" in which "honor code violation" means engaging in sexual intercourse with his girlfriend....

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Can The Tulsa Shock Become The Worst Pro Basketball Team Ever?
Last night, the Tulsa Shock lost to the Seattle Storm, 74-57. It was their 20th consecutive defeat. Like UConn as it closed in on UCLA's record college-basketball winning streak, the WNBA team is within reach of the longest losing streak in NBA history, 26 games, set by the 2010-11 New Jersey Nets C...

Somebody Thought Luke Walton Would Make A Good "Big Men" Coach
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: two NBA Championships can't be wrong....

Cockblocked By Lovesickness!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Your Collection Of "What If White Michael Vick Were..." Photoshops
Yesterday, in its infinite wisdom, ESPN gave us White Michael Vick. We're still not sure entirely why, although it "got people talking" in the way that most silly ESPN things do. It also got the crafty minds of the internet a-Photoshoppin'. Here are some of our favorites, though you should send othe...

The Longhorn Network Launches Today, And Nobody Can Watch It
Tonight, at 6pm Austin time, the controversial Longhorn Network will go on the air. 24-hour coverage will start immediately, giving you the latest and most in-depth UT coverage available. And there's absolutely no way for you or anyone else to watch....

Bruce Pearl Hosts BBQ To Address NCAA Sanctions For BBQ He Once Hosted
On Wednesday, the NCAA announced that it would penalize former Tennessee men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl with a three-year show-cause penalty. The decision, which effectively shuts him out of a college coaching job for three years, is a result of infractions Pearl committed during his tenure at U...

The 2011 Hater's Guide To Fantasy Football (NFC)
In case you missed it, here was the AFC preview. Now it’s time for Andy Behrens and I to take on the NFC. Off we go. ...

Looks Like The DePaul Assistant Coach's Home May Not Have Been Robbed After All
In the interest of fairness to unknown but besmirched burglars everywhere, here's a follow-up to the "Today In Horrible Quotes" post from yesterday morning. It was about a bummer of a break-in, but Act II features a police source telling the press that things may not have gone down as reported. Sta...

Things Are Going To Be A Little Different In Winnipeg When The Jets Resume NHL Play
The key to understanding what Rob Milette's true role with the Winnipeg Jets will be isn't in knowing the difference between rapists and athletic rapists....

Your NFL Preseason Football Open Thread
Three games tonight. Carolina visits Cincinnati at 7 p.m. eastern. Cleveland heads to Philly a half hour later. And, Washington plays in Baltimore at 8 p.m....

Boise State Will Allow Detroit High School To Have Blue Turf As Long As They Don't Call It "Blue Turf"
Boise State is very particular about their turf, which is blue, and the name of their turf ("blue turf"), because no one in college football has turf quite like them (in that their turf is blue). Most turfs, you see, are green....

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The 2011 Football Outsiders Almanac
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12 or order the book for $21.95....

Boise State Heralds The End Of The World
Earthquake, white Michael Vick, hurricane, and now a pale horse on the Broncos' Nike Pro Combat uniforms. These are the signs of the Apocalypse....