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This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....
The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...
Maryland, His Maryland: Randy Edsall Is The Lawgiver
Fresh off his BCS success (read: staving off mediocrity a little better than the rest of the Big East), Randy Edsall is the big man on campus in College Park. And while it's nice to feel wanted, Edsall appears to be the type to get drunk off the slightest bit of power. He's bringing in a heavy-hande...
How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....
Man Stakes Claim To Biggest-Fan Title By Dedicating His Leg To John Elway
Meet Joey Bouchard of Centennial, Colo. The Denver Post will tell you everything else you need to know about this gentleman:...
RIP Bubba Smith
As mentioned in tonight's Sports Final, Charles Aaron "Bubba" Smith died today at the age of 66. The first pick in the 1967 NFL draft, he won a Super Bowl with the Baltimore Colts and played for both the Raiders and Oilers in a nine-year career. Then, he pursued the life of acting, the highlight o...
It Sure Looks Some ACC Football Players Got Married In New York City Last Month
Yes, hundreds of same-sex couples lined up for the chance to get married in New York City last month. If this report from the NBC affiliate in Charlotte, NC is taken at tipster-provided face value*, Clemson University football center Dalton Freeman and defensive tackle Brandon Thompson were among ...
Nick Swisher Has Released A Children's Album
Yankees outfielder and fountain of enthusiasm Nick Swisher has just released his first album, Believe. It features Swisher on lead vocals with Kidz-Bop-style backup, not to mention special appearances on guitar from Bernie Williams and Barry Zito. Looking at the track list, it's basically a concep...
A Minor League Team Was Two Feet From Disaster
As the old saying ought to go, nothing good comes from taking a wrong turn to Staten Island....
Meet The Man Who Streaked At A Little League Game For $20
After first playing guess the state (it's Massachusetts), we wondered what would possess this 18-year-old to take off his clothes, cover his face, jump a fence, and streak across the field. He hopped into the passenger seat of a waiting truck and sped off: the perfect, pointless crime....
The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...
Bruce Pearl May Be Headed To The D-League
Former Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl is likely set to take over the Texas Legends, the Dallas Maverick's D-League affiliate that went 24-26 and made it to the playoffs in the 16-team, two-conference organization last season. ESPN's Marc Stein reported the team's initial invitation this afternoon, and ...
You Made Stubby Clapp Angry
There are very few memorable players with just 25 career major league at-bats. And yet, we vividly remember Stubby Clapp from his brief 2001 stint with the Cardinals. What could it have been?...
This Woman's Kneecap Is Pretty Sure That Asdrubal Cabrera Hit A Two-Run Homer Last Night
In the eighth inning of the Indians-Red Sox game last night, with the game tied at five runs apiece, Asdrubal Cabrera's hit a line drive to right field that was initially ruled a single. Umpires reviewed the play and called it a homer — Cabrera's second of the night — to give Cleveland a two-run l...
Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...
Rucker Park Was Too Small To Hold All Of Kevin Durant's Swag
Basketball! Because of the lockout, doesn't it seem like it's been an extra-long time since we've seen meaningful games, even though it'd still be the middle of the offseason in a normal year? I don't know that the glorified exhibitions at Rucker Park count as "meaningful," but last night's firewo...
Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...
Today In Very American Ledes
"A Georgia Tech football fan has filed a lawsuit after she says she was strip searched over a chicken sandwich." [WSBTV, H/T Last Angry Fan]...
We Remind All Big Ten Reporters That Asking For Coach's Autograph Is Not Acceptable (Update: Ed Responds)
Big Ten Media Days in Chicago just wrapped up, and for the most part it was the same boring old questions, asked 100 times by 100 different reporters from across the Midwest. So it takes something special to stand out. Ed Littler, Sports Director at News 5 in Nebraska, you are something special....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Hard Work Is Rewarded
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and repository of ultimate philosophical truths, battled once more against entropy and meaninglessness on Saturday. Also against the Baltimore Orioles. A hit batsman and an error behind him put Colon on the ropes in the first inning, but he struck out Mark...