and Page 1043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: JaMarcus Russell's Adipose Tissue
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 300-some pounds JaMarcus Russell was said to be carrying, and which the newly released quarterback will now be carrying out of Oakland....
Indians Announcer Goes On Epic Indians Rant On The Indians' Network
Bruce Drennan has had it up to here with the Indians' poor play this season. Yesterday, he decided to go through his scoresheet and give each player an equal-opportunity ripping, looking like a Don Rickles-Gilbert Gottfried hybrid in the process. [WFNY]...
Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....
Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....
Patriots Stand Up Middle Schoolers
A Connecticut middle school won the opportunity to work out with Patriots players. They received a visit from a team intern, and some exercise videos....
When Golf Meets Cliff Diving
A New Zealand man fell 100 feet off a cliff while looking for his golf ball yesterday. Looks like someone read that article on how valuable lost balls are. [New Zealand Herald]...
Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....
Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....
A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....
Mudwrestling At The Kentucky Derby
The infield scene at Churchill Downs may not be as decadent and depraved as at Pimlico these days, but the rainstorm brought a welcome twist to the action. Feisty fillies, indeed. [via Louisville.com]...
Was This Sports Blog Post Written By A Sports Blogging Robot Who Might Be Evolving Into A Less-Bad Writer?
No. But if it were, you might not know! At least, that's sort of the premise of this follow-up about an army of sportswriting robots — you know, the ones that may just render sports writing obsolete. Except, they won't....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Kentucky Derby Is Faulkneresque, Heartbreaking And, As Always, Decadent And Depraved
Every week, Tommy will excerpt a handful of stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that he urges you to read for one reason or another. Today, I'm filling in. Still, send suggestions: [email protected]....
Study Of Most Loved, Loathed Baseball Teams On Internet Fails To Account For Actual Internet
Remember that totally, rigorously, kite-flyingly super-scientific Nielsen Co. study of the most loved and hated teams in baseball, according to the internet? The one that concluded that everyone loves the Giants and hates the Indians? Yeah, one problem:...
Look! It’s Some Wonderful England Goals On Video!
After spending the morning moaning about the state of the England team in the build up to the World Cup, it seems only right to look on the sunny side with a short video compilation of some great goals....
Drew Brees, <em>Times-Picayune</em> Leave The Yard In Entirely Different Ways
"A packed house at Zephyr Field learned two things Wednesday night. One, that child sexual abuse is a big problem, and two, that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees can smack home runs from either side of the plate." [Times-Picayune; related]...
The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....
New USA Kit Looks Good On A Pretty Lady
Today, Nike unveiled the USA's World Cup home jersey. Solid, if unspectacular. To make it more palatable, here it is on a Playboy model. [Playboy] (Page is SFW, just don't click on anything.)...
Padres Prospects Display Plus-Plus Nerf-Hoops Acumen
H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos for the link and Matt for the embed code....
Dumb Honky Radio Guy Fired For Doing On Twitter What Everyone In Sports Talk Does On Air
Bacsik, the former Nats reliever and leading demographer of the American Southwest, has been fired by KTCK-AM's parent company for all that "dirty Mexicans" business on Twitter the other day. Because sports-talk radio is no place for casual racism and half-drunk stupidity....
Indians The Most Hated Baseball Team, Says Science
When the Wall Street Journal added a New York sports section, we assumed it would be more than game stories and notes columns. Sure enough, they've debuted with a series of needlessly rigorous analyses of things nobody cares about....