and Page 1044 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....

Could This Be The Most Blatant Dive In Soccer History?
This gem comes straight to you from the Faroe Islands, where Kaj Ennigarð of ÍF Fuglafjørður goes down like a sack of potatoes after apparently being hit by a gust of wind. It certainly wasn't the other player, that's certain....

The NFL's Worst Human Being Works For The Dolphins
It comes out that the exec who asked Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute was Miami GM Jeff Ireland. Hey, Parcells wasn't hung up on character as a coach, why should he change in the front office? [Yahoo!]...

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?
Even if he is, Notre Dame media relations person Bernadette Cafarelli told us over the phone that "Mike Brey is the men's basketball coach at Notre Dame." (Her inflection suggested a "PERIOD!" so I'll add that.) Onto the smutty rumor-grinder....

Joe Biden Mourns The 29 Dead West Virginia Miners By Somberly Crapping On Rich Rodriguez
Here's our walking facepalm of a vice president, speaking at a memorial for the dead miners: "They loved hunting, fishing, riding horses and four-wheelers. They hated the way Coach Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan." [TNR]...

Last Night's Winner: People Who Question Dwight Howard's Manhood
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks who mistake human beings for sled dogs and accuse Dwight Howard of not being alpha enough....

So You Will Be Able To See The Giants And Jets After All
"What a bunch of blockheads!" You said it New York Post....

Matt Millen Apologizes
Matt Millen Apologizes To The Polacks [Tirico Suave]...

Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...

Mike Keenan Thinks You're Number One: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Ovechkin Gives Child A Snow Shower
Ovie stops short, spraying the Canadiens tyke. Probably all in good fun (and part over Ovechkin's pregame routine), but still: wouldn't it have been great if the kid had dropped the gloves?...

Footage Of Maryland Student's Beating Goes Missing, Re-Appears Minus Some "Editing"
A disc of security camera video that might show police officers assaulting a Maryland student during the post-Duke game bliss mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!...

Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....

Everyone Can Get Behind These Sedin Twins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

Juan Antonio Samaranch Passes Away
Former Olympic head honcho Juan Antonio Samaranch died in Barcelona today at the age of 89. We'll never forget the way he always cheered up third-place finishers by pretending to pull the bronze medal out of their ear. [CNN]...

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....

Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....

Pablo The Panda And The Worst Souvenir Ever
I want you, for a moment, to picture Pablo Sandoval's crotch. Now imagine getting smacked in the face with something that spends all day down there....