ant Page 474 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Anthony Rizzo Gets Weepy While Introducing David Ross At Victory Parade
This has been a great sports week, and you’ve only got a few hours until all that shit that made you feel good about being a sports fan fades into memory and you return to the office on Monday as the same cynical prick you’ve always been. But before you march back into the gloom, let the Chicago Cub...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
San Antonio Cop Reportedly Fired For Feeding Homeless Man A Literal Shit Sandwich
Our American law enforcement system enables its officers to abuse their power and harass the citizenry in ways both petty and outright barbaric. Here’s a particularly cruel example, from down in San Antonio: a cop was fired this week after he fed a homeless man a shit sandwich. I do not use “shit sa...
Durant Versus Westbrook Was Fun, And Then It Was A Rout
For about nine minutes last night, it looked like the Thunder might beat the Warriors. But then Jerami Grant dunked and screamed in Kevin Durant’s face, Durant went supernova and scored 39 points, and the Warriors won by 26....
Russell Westbrook Says There's No Particular Reason He Dressed Up Like A Photographer
Oklahoma City Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook wore an interesting outfit last night, but that’s something that can be said about him literally anytime he walks out of his front door. This particular outfit caught people’s attention, though....
Falcons-Buccaneers, <i>Thursday Night Football</i>, LIVE
It’s time again to let the Tecmo Super Bowl computer duke it out to simulate tonight’s Atlanta-Tampa Bay game. Who will win? Tune in to find out, LIVE: ...
Kris Bryant Smiling Through The Final Out Is My Favorite Thing
I don’t really have anything add to this video of 24-year-old Kris Bryant grinning like an idiot as he made the throw to first to win the World Series, only a sincere wish that everyone reading this gets to experience a moment of similar anticipatory joy in their lives, and the observation that it i...
Anthony Rizzo Is A Self-Proclaimed Emotional Wreck
The Cubs were up 3-1 when Anthony Rizzo turned to grizzled elder David Ross for some emotional support. “I’m in a glass case of emotion,” he told Ross...
<i>Atlanta</i> Stumbled Too Often To Really Soar<em></em>
Atlanta, a dark comedy series created by Donald Glover that just wrapped its first season on FX, garnered almost universal praise as soon as it premiered. There were uniformly glowing press reviews, a credulous acceptance that the show would be, as its star and creator Donald Glover had taken to du...
Cam Newton Is Right To Be Pissed
After he took a hit to his knee that wasn’t flagged on Sunday, Cam Newton went off on the NFL. “At times I don’t even feel safe,” Newton, the reigning league MVP, said at the start of an extended rant about calls he frequently doesn’t get. “And enough is enough.”...
The Melbourne Cup Is Decadent And Depraved
You may have read Hunter S. Thompson’s famous article recounting the rampant debauchery at the Kentucky Derby and thought you’d glimpsed the true, beating heart of insane white people shit. But you’d have been mistaken. It’s not until you see these photos of the Melbourne Cup, Australia’s most drunk...
Hunter Pence's Dance Moves Are Somehow Less Awkward Than His Batting Stance<em></em>
San Francisco Giants outfielder Hunter Pence transformed into an eerily accurate Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween, with his fiancée Alexis Cozombolidis dressing up as his sidekick, Pedro. Pence’s costume was one of the better athlete costumes this year, up there with Paul Pierce sitting on the bench ...
White Sox Didn't Want Giant Downward Arrow On Their Stadium; Corporate Sponsor Said "Too Bad"
When the White Sox announced a new, 13-year naming rights deal for their stadium (which you can continue to call whatever you’d like), the jokes were plentiful and justified: The name is awkward and bland, and could they really not do better than a medium-sized mortgage lender? But judgment was larg...
The Wildest Fan Theories About <i>Kevin Can Wait</i>
Everyone loves Westworld, but the only thing everyone loves more than Westworld are theories about the future plot events of Westworld. Fans coming up with and then spreading theories of dubious repute is not a phenomenon unique to HBO’s new show about cowboys and sex robots, but the layered uncert...
Aroldis Chapman's Top Of The Eighth Was Designed To Make You Hate Baseball
Last night’s eight-out save by Aroldis Chapman featured the Cuban closer throwing 42 pitches to preserve the Cubs’ one-run lead to send the World Series back to Cleveland for a Game 6. At times, I was convinced that I would grow old and die before Chapman left the mound. ...
Report: Santa Clara Threatens To Take Over 49ers' Stadium For Misuse Of Taxpayer Dollars
The San Francisco 49ers secured a new stadium in Santa Clara on the condition that taxpayer dollars not be spent on NFL games or private events. But two years after Levi’s stadium opened, Santa Clara mayor Lisa Gillmor has concerns that the city is not being properly reimbursed for expenditures and...
Report: FanDuel And DraftKings Are About To Merge Into One Company
DraftKings and FanDuel are merging, according to sources cited in an ESPN report tonight that claims the two leading daily fantasy sites are on the verge of consolidating more than 90 percent of the market into one company....
Anthony Weiner's Dong Tipped The FBI Off About New Clinton Emails
The FBI announced this morning that they plan to investigate a new batch of emails from Hillary Clinton, after finding them in “connection with an unrelated case.” That unrelated case? Disgraced horny former congressman Anthony Weiner sending dong shots to a 15-year-old....
76ers Apologize For Preventing Singer With "We Matter" Shirt From Singing Anthem
The Philadelphia 76ers did some dumb shit before their home opener on Tuesday night, cancelling singer Sevyn Streeter’s scheduled performance of the national anthem because Streeter was wearing a shirt with “We Matter” written on it....