are Page 176 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, Everyone In Bristol Will Be Twinkies Tomorrow!
It shouldn't be difficult to spot any ESPN employees walking down the street tomorrow: Look for the guy/lady with the Arena Football shirt and that "sweet God someone please shoot me" look on their face....

Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while washing your hand jammies ... • NBA: Do not jostle Steve Nash! Suns 104, Spurs 98. • MLB: What in the world has gotten into the Washington Nationals? • NHL: Live by the Sabre, die by the Sabre ... Senators take 3-0 series lead....

About Last Night...
• NBA. Golden State 125, Utah 105. In case you were wondering if the people in Golden State still believed, their t-shirts indicated that they do. They lose points for using Thunder Stix last night. Disgraceful. • NHL. Red Wings 2, Ducks 1. The Red Wings are far superior to the Ducks in the area of ...

Who's Sorry Now? Curt Schilling Edition
The Curt Schilling/Barry Bonds Tempest in a Specimen Cup took another odd turn on Wednesday, as friends and loved ones of the Red Sox pitcher hastily organized an intervention on his behalf. On Tuesday Schilling lit into Bonds, with the famous "He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his ta...

About Last Night ...
What you missed during another senseless school squirrel attack ... • NBA: That clanking sound you hear is the Warriors going down 2-0 to the Jazz. • MLB: Dice, Dice Baby ... Manny, Matsuzaka lead Red Sox over Blue Jays, 9-3. • Tennis: The Chronicles of Roddick ... big fun at the Rome Masters....

Nothing's Scarier Than Texas High School Football
It's about that time of day when we remind you just how terrifying Texas high school football is. This is from Southlake Carroll High School near Dallas/Ft. Worth, where certain fans camped out all night just to pay $90 seat licenses (that doesn't even count the tickets) for four high school footbal...

Welcome To The World League
In one of those glorious creations that could have only come about thanks to the Internet, we proudly introduce you — if you didn't already know — to The World League....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....

Minor Enterprise: Hey, Kids! It's Blowie!
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

Obama/Arenas '08!
As we continue to attempt to come to terms with the loss of Gilbert Arenas from the upcoming playoff months, we turn, as always, to Wizznutzz to help us through the night....

If Only Landon Donovan Had Received This Tough Love
Listen Tiffany, we're sick and tired of coddling your ass. You always recover centrally. And we've told you a million times, dribble toward the defender until he leaves his mark, then pass him! Repeat that, Tiffany! You dribble where? Toward the defender! Don't make us stop the car again....

Folks, Do We Ever Have The Job For You
A few months ago, we told how our old friend Carl Monday was taking on a new gig with a new station. Well, he's fortifying for his investigations; he's hiring an assistant, and that assistant could be you....

Don't Piss Off Jon Bon Jovi
You know, we haven't decided if Jon Bon Jovi's part-ownership of the Arena League's Philadelphia Soul makes the league more interesting, or less. On the one hand, a "rock star" who writes about just the perfect karaoke song owns a sports franchise and screams and yells from the luxury booth. On the ...

Oh, Gilbert ... No ... No ...
Like pretty much anyone who loves the game of basketball, we are distressed to hear that Gilbert Arenas is going to be out two months and miss the playoffs. There was no player we were looking forward to watching more; it has been a blissful, breakthrough season for Agent Zero, and it really shouldn...

The Minooka School System Throws Down The Beat
Note to grade school physical education teachers: If you're putting together a mix CD of upbeat songs for your annual fifth grade jump rope fundraiser, make sure that "I'm in Love With a Stripper," by Gangsta Grillz isn't one of them....

Ron Jaworski Finds A Home
If I had to rank all of the professional football broadcasts that ABC's done in the last six months, I'd say that the Chicago Rush vs. Kansas City Brigade Arena Football game they just had was number one. It was their best effort. Beyond that, every broadcast involving Tony Kornheiser is tied for la...

Idaho, Remaining On The Cutting Edge Of Video Game Technology
So this is enough to make one happy: The cover boy for the new EA Sports NCAA Football 2008 game is ... Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky!...

Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...