arizonadiamondbacks Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...

These Ladies Were Actually 35-Years-Old At The Start Of Sunday's Padres/Diamondbacks Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...

New Mouth Guard Is Effective, And Most Importantly, Stylish
Look closely the next time Eric Byrnes steps in the batter's box. Focus in on his face, examine his mouth. Do you see it? Um no, I refuse to do this. Next question?...

Arizona Dismisses Confused, Drunk Mascot
The Diamondbacks fired their mascot because of a DUI arrest and not, as suspected, because bobcats are not snakes. [AZ Republic]...

Eric Byrnes and Conor Jackson ... They're Cops!
The Diamondbacks are still working hard to market Eric Byrnes as the funny, freewheeling surfer dude who just happens to play baseball for $10 mil a year. Thus we have The Eric Byrnes Show, which is carried on FSN Arizona. A recent promotion for the show proves that it may be more entertaining than ...

Jessica Simpson Entertains Phoenix Baseball Fans, Car Wreck Aficionados
We may have had a bit of fun in our last visit with the notion that Jessica Simpson's opening act is Randy Johnson. However, we felt that perhaps we hadn't given the matter the proper respect it deserves. After all, a number of important and wealthy people knowledgeable about their industries determ...

A Tale Of Two Cycles
I guess Stephen Drew isn't a big name, except for writers of slash fiction. All he did on Monday was hit for the cycle, and AP called him Scott Drew (11th graph). Later Monday, Adrian Beltre also hit for the cycle. What are odds of two players hitting for the cycle on the same day? About the same as...

Chris Snyder Would Not Like To Be A Member Of This Club
There seems to be an overabundance of sports-related testicle injuries over the past three months. First it was Felix Pie's "twisted testicle", then Flyers' winger Patrick Thoresen's severe testicle bruising and, now, most horrifying of them all, Arizona Diamondbacks' catcher Chris Snyder's "f...

Arizona Cannot Be Stopped
Brandon Webb didn't have his best performance of the year, but he can thank Augie Ojeda for helping him notch a seventh consecutive win. The Arizona reserve filled in mightily for the injured Orlando Hudson, driving in six of the runs in the 10-4 win over the Mets. Ojeda had three hits, including tw...

Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...

Maddux Left For Dead, Doesn't Actually Die
Thursday "night"'s game for San Diego lasted all of 22 innings. Friday's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks was over after just one inning, when they were losing 6-0. And as impressive as Dan Haren, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, THE UNPREDICTABLE ERIC BYRNES WOBBITY WOK, and all of the other Diamo...

Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....

Your NL West "Preview"
Question: Anybody else buy the MLB Extra Innings package? They're eventually gonna update that schedule with games, right? Our cable system is still showing nothing ... and the season starts Monday, doggone it!...

Baseball Season Preview: Arizona Diamondbacks
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....

Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...

Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...

Eric Byrnes Does Not Rock
What they're saying out in The Matrix about the Rockies' 6-4 National League Championship Series win over the Diamondbacks on Monday, which gave Colorado the NL pennant ......

Your National League Champion Colorado Rockies
It seems surreal just to type it, but it's true: The Colorado Rockies are heading to the World Series. We shouldn't try to explain it. We'll just say this: We think the Rockies could probably beat the Patriots right now....
