art Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
1st Round, Sixteenth Overall: Buzzsaw Selects Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
You better adjust the tracking on your VCR if you want to watch game tape of Rodgers-Cromartie. Tennessee State games are taped using the surveillance cameras at the Stop & Rob across the street. "The tape is not real clear. You have to find him. This reminds me of an older time in scouting," accor...
Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...
Marty Brennaman Is Unlikely To Receive A Statue Outside Wrigley Field
Marty Brennaman has been the voice of the Cincinnati Reds since 1974, taking over for, of all people, Al Michaels. He's a legacy broadcaster, like the Bucks and the Carays; his son Thom is a FOX broadcaster, works with him in Cincinnati and was once a Cubs broadcaster. Oh, yes, the Cubs: It appears ...
Remember To Get Your Tickets For The Chicago Pants Party
If you didn't attend last year's Deadspin Pants Party in Chicago, boy, did you ever miss out. We'll be kicking it off again this year, and there are still tickets remaining....
Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...
Ron Artest's Lunacy Knows No Bounds
The life of an NBA entourage member is a hard one. Even though it may offer an otherwise unemployable sect of society the opportunity to live an exciting, fulfilling life vicariously through a pampered professional athlete, there is legitimate "work" to be done in order to maintain a prime spot in ...
Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....
Dana White Says Kimbo/Liddell Fight Not Out Of The Realm Of Possibility
Last week,the UFC's mohawked maniac Chuck Liddell downplayed the success and viability of YouTube fighting phenom (and now EliteXC) figher Kimbo Slice, saying that the backyard brawler would get rocked in Mixed Martial Arts. Similar things have been said of Kimbo before, by plenty of other longtime ...
Michigan Students Will Bone You/Be Boned For OSU Tickets
According to a recent "study" conducted by the University of Michigan, there is a small fraction of the student body who will use sex in lieu of currency for various goods and services. According to Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, he's troub...
For You Few Humans Still Paying Attention To Your NCAA Bracket
With the end of the NCAA Tournament tonight, that means not only that One Shining moment is upon us, but also that: Hey! Time to wrap up your tournament pools....
Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers....
Matt Leinart's Actions Make TheDirty.Com Famous
Matt Leinart's stupefying beer-bong partying and champagne-bottle fellatio did nothing to help his career as an NFL quarterback nor his promotional viability, but it did wonders for the Dirty.com. The site, once lost in the overly-crowded co-ed tit-flashing corner of the blog market, reached critica...
TV Listings (With Proper Timestampery)
Quite exciting, this web log magic. For once the TV listings will show up on the correct date, unless of course I'm merely being preemptively presumptuous and the TV listings for today appear sometime next Thursday on Jalopnik. So let's see where the time-o-meter takes us, so in the meantime, please...
Matt Leinart Is Just Asking For It Now
And once again our hero returns with an even more breathtaking lack of self-awareness. TheDirty.com comes through with another photograph that is sure to disappoint Cardinals' coach Ken Whisenhunt again. This time, possibly, forever....
Ron Mexico's Prison Pen Pal
Considering how much Falcons owner Arthur Blank stuck by Ron Mexico for years, before that dog-fighting business, it should perhaps be little surprise that he's still corresponding with Vick while he's in the slammer. How's he doing, anyway? Has he organized a team to beat the prison guards yet?...
Moises Alou's Timing Leaves Much To Be Desired
As has been well documented, if Moises Alou, back in 2003, just slowly jogs away from the left-field wall, no one ever knows who Steve Bartman is, and people can go back to blaming Alex Gonzalez or Mark Prior or whomever they want to blame. (You know, people who actually played.) A few years ago, Al...
Stuart Scott Obviously Feels Better
Wow, that "ESPN the Weekend" sure looks like it was fun. Here's Stuart Scott getting all Chuck D on the karaoke mic with proper S1W accompaniment by Charles Barkley playing the role of Flavor Flav and, hmm, Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" obviously filling Professor Griff's giant shoes....
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...