as Page 1394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
!["Fuck You, Dale" [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/tymeyt8g8v8prpspe5vn.jpg)
"Fuck You, Dale" [UPDATES]
Man, Dale’s employers at Metal Works of High Point must really hate him....

Is It OK To Order Delivery During A Snowstorm?
Much of the East Coast is about to get slammed by a nor’easter, with areas in and around Washington D.C. set to receive up to two feet or more of snow. Schools have been canceled, airports are functionally shut down, and even D.C.’s Metro is set to shutter for the weekend. But you’re hungry, and you...

Report: Clippers Trade Josh Smith For The Lint In Daryl Morey's Pocket
Depth was a problem that the Los Angeles Clippers aimed to fix last offseason, particularly with the signings of Josh Smith and Lance Stephenson. Both have been disasters this season, and now Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting that the Clips are sending Smith back to the Houston Rockets in exch...
![The Washington Capitals Shouldn't Play Tonight [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gpngucdb0ofb5dlc984v.jpg)
The Washington Capitals Shouldn't Play Tonight [Update]
The snow in Washington D.C. is expected to start falling around noon. A blizzard warning formally goes into effect at 3 p.m. The region could get two feet or more. The storm “has life and death implications,” Mayor Muriel Bowser said. “People should hunker down, shelter in place and stay off the roa...

How Georgian Pride, Wyclef, And The Tween Internet Almost Got Zaza Pachulia To The NBA All-Star Game
The starters for the NBA All-Star Game were revealed last night, and there was one name that stuck out on the list of the final vote tallies for the Western Conference team....

The Seahawks Warned The Cardinals About Carolina's Turf
The Seahawks could not have possibly had a worse start to their divisional-round loss to the Panthers last week, throwing two picks and allowing two defensive touchdowns and falling behind 21-0 in the first 15 minutes. And, at least to some extent, Pete Carroll blamed the grass....

Cop Responds To Noise Complaint Of Kids Playing Basketball By Lowering Rim And Dunking On Them
Some no-fun-haver called in a noise complaint against these kids in Gainesville, Fl. for having the audacity—the nerve—to play basketball loudly in what appears to be the damn woods, or somewhere close to the woods anyway....

Even Roger Federer Went Nuts Over This 27-Stroke Rally Between Maria Sharapova & Lauren Davis
American Lauren Davis has forced a third set against fifth seed Maria Sharapova at the Australian Open after winning a second-set tiebreak. That came despite her unforced error at the end of this remarkable 27-stroke rally—one that got Roger Federer, awaiting his turn against Grigor Dimitrov, out of...

Matt Hendricks Stops Slapshot With His Dick And Balls
This here’s Matt Hendricks and he’s making that there face because he took a hockey puck to the Johnson while defending against a Howitzer of a slap shot. ...

Grizzlies Fan Becomes Victim Of Apocalyptic Silly String Ambush
The Grizzlies shot 80% on the Nuggets in the first quarter but Rocky and his Nuggets fan cohorts shot 100% on silly string ambushes for the night....

How Washington's Youngsters Turned The Program Around
Ask historically great programs like Texas football or UCLA basketball; losing has a way of compounding itself in college sports. With constant, acute competition for recruits, it can be difficult to reverse the narrative once you start slipping. Why would that five-star quarterback want to play for...


Can You Identify The "Celebrities" Who Will Be Coaching The NHL All-Star Game?
The NHL added a little wrinkle to its (very cool!) new All-Star Game structure. The four 3-on-3 squads representing each division will be coached by an actual NHL coach (Gerard Gallant, Lindy Ruff, Darryl Sutter, and Barry Trotz) as well as, uh, well, hmm, one of ... these guys above here?...

Report: Freshman Hazed At Tennessee HS Found Covered In Blood, Urine, Feces
ESPN’s Outside the Lines has new details about what police say happened the night three high school basketball players are accused of attacking and sodomizing a teammate with a pool cue. They include a timeline of how the attack unfolded, how other students were similarly hazed, how long coaches wai...

High School Student Section Sets Gold Standard For Free-Throw Distractions
Good work by the student section at Sheridan High School (Ohio). These kids distracted their team’s opponents with a fake pregnancy, and it worked....


Why Prosecutors Didn't Bring Charges Against Aroldis Chapman
Prosecutors have declined to bring charges against now-Yankees pitcher Aroldis Chapman for his actions the night he was accused of choking his girlfriend and firing eight gunshots inside his garage, the Broward State Attorney’s Office announced today. The office also released a closeout memo, writte...

How To Live With Roommates Without Being A Jerk
There’s nothing more freeing than walking around your house naked, and without having to worry whether someone will come home and crash your personal time. Unfortunately, it’s more of a privilege than a reality for most of us. Life is hard, and necessity means splitting the rent with other people if...

Just Three European NBA Players, Making Jokes And Burning Hassan Whiteside
Jazz center and large Frenchman Rudy Gobert sent a semi-hot, cryptic tweet two days ago:...

ESPN's Uncertain Future Is Already Here
The television industry is still working through the period of upheaval it entered during the mid- to late-aughts, when a variety of rival technologies all began to seriously affect business. DVRs achieved ubiquity, allowing viewers to skip commercials; streaming services like Netflix and Hulu grew ...