as Page 1459 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Stapleton Is Your New "Real Country Music" Savior
So the 49th-annual Country Music Association Awards—the Grammys for people who hate ObamaCare, basically—went down last night, and the guy in this video won all the important ones. (Not Justin Timberlake; the other one, the burly, hirsute fella who looks like an extra in that new movie where Leonard...
Sad Jeb Bush Is Just Sitting Up At Night, Waiting To Chat About Football With You
Jeb Bush, the former frontrunner for the Republican Presidential nomination, may have finally hit rock bottom. Fresh off his piss-baby performance at the last debate, Jeb has now transformed into your sad uncle who just wishes that he heard from the kids more often....
Lance Berkman Is Sick Of All This Goddamn Tolerance
Lance Berkman, a bigoted Mr. Potato Head who learned how to play baseball, recently cut a political ad against an anti-discrimination ordinance that was up for a vote in Houston, Tex. Berkman was against the ordinance because it would allow “troubled men who claim to be women” to enter women’s bathr...
The Clippers Are Good, But The Warriors Were Better
Wednesday night’s contest between the Warriors and Clippers was more hyped than some playoff games, a highly anticipated match-up considering it was an early November game. They were two of the three remaining undefeated teams in the NBA, and spent the offseason engaged in a heated war of words, the...
Bradley Beal Sinks Spurs With Game-Winning Three
The Wizards are a popular dark horse pick to emerge from the Eastern Conference and they showed why tonight, beating the Spurs 102-99 on a Bradley Beal three-pointer with just 0.3 seconds remaining. LaMarcus Aldridge does not look good on this possession, likely because of some sort of blown communi...
Warriors Owner: I Did Some Fuck Stuff With The Larry O’Brien Trophy
Here’s a bone-chilling collection of words from Haute Living’s new profile of Warriors owner Joe Lacob:...
A judge has sided with the Orioles and against MLB and the Nationals in their ongoing dispute over the percentage of TV rights fees that go to Washington. The judge urged the parties to go to truly independent arbitration, but in the meantime it will cost the Nats tens of millions of dollars a year....
Andre Drummond Is A Hilarious Monster
After scoring 25 points and yanking down 29—twenty-goddamned-nine!—rebounds against the Pacers last night, Pistons center Andre Drummond’s per-game numbers are looking downright stupid. He’s averaging 20 points and 19 rebounds per game, and he’s the first player since 1985 to score at least 80 point...
Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...
If You Steal From Serena Williams, She Will Hunt You Down
Serena Williams just posted a highly entertaining story about her brush with a possible thief to her Facebook page. This is what happens when you are dumb enough to try and steal Serena Williams’s cell phone:...
Tyler Seguin Scored A Hat Trick, Made A Teen Cry On Her Birthday
At 10-3-0 after last night’s 5-3 win over the Bruins, the Dallas Stars are off to the hottest start in franchise history. It’s a year later than everyone expected, but unlike last season’s slow start, everything is clicking this time around. Offseason additions Patrick Sharp, Johnny Oduya, and espec...
Nearly Twice As Many People As Live In Kansas City Attended The Royals' Parade
Kansas City mayor Sly James estimated that 800,000 people turned out to watch the Royals’ championship parade (at least one police sergeant thought it was higher), which is even more impressive when you realize that Kansas City’s population is just 470,000. But while it’s one thing to hear a number ...
Jonny Gomes Gives Obnoxious, Wonderful Victory Speech At Royals' World Series Parade
Jonny Gomes didn’t have a single plate appearance in the Royals’ postseason run, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t preen and shout at the team’s World Series parade today. Give him a hell yeah, brother....
Nobody Wants RGIII
The NFL trade deadline is in another hour or so, but despite the dearth of quarterbacks around the league, and the Skins’ obvious plan to never let Robert Griffin play again, RGIII isn’t going anywhere. Not that some teams wouldn’t like to kick his tires; it’s that Washington foolishly picked up Gri...
Jerry Jones Spends About A Minute Rambling About Monkeys
Last week, Dez Bryant posted a photo on Instagram of his “new best friend,” a monkey named Dallas Bryant. When PETA found out, it demanded that Bryant relinquish the illegal pet monkey, but there wasn’t proof that the Cowboys receiver actually possessed Dallas. DeSoto, Texas police investigated, and...
Manchester City And Sevilla Fans Scrap Outside Bar
Not content with the chair tornado in the lead-up to the last Manchester City-Sevilla match a couple weeks ago, these fans returned to their fighting ways ahead of today’s return leg. Yes, more chairs were thrown....
Warriors Top Grizz, 119 To—Wait, I'm Pretty Sure This Is A Video Game Score
There’s been a terrible mistake. The AP, ESPN, even the NBA itself—they’re all recording the final score of last night’s Warriors-Grizzlies game as a 119-69 win for the Warriors, but clearly that is the score of some kid’s video game. I mean, ha ha, 119-69, get the fuck outta here, who would even be...
The Skins' Latest Court Filing Is Comically Vulgar
The Skins are desperately trying to preserve their trademark, which was canceled by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office last year and upheld by a federal judge this summer. It’s before a court of appeals now, and on Friday the team filed its opening brief. It appears it was written by Andrew Dice C...
Dusty Baker Named Washington Nationals Manager After They Cheap Out On Bud Black
Last Wednesday Bud Black agreed to become the Washington Nationals manager, with seemingly everything wrapped up and just the i’s to dot and the t’s to cross. It was such a done deal that the Washington Post was writing articles with headlines like “What’s next after the Nationals’ hiring of Bud Bla...
Timberwolves Play Heartrending Tribute To Flip Saunders Before Home Opener
The Minnesota Timberwolves host their first home game of the season tonight, and beforehand played a long and heartfelt tribute to Flip Saunders, who died of Hodgkin’s lymphoma a week ago. Saunders was the Timberwolves’ coach and president of basketball operations, but to residents of Minnesota, Fli...