as Page 2091 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Minor Leaguer Incites Bench-Clearing Brawl In Middle Of Home Run Trot
The website that tracks the slowest HR trots may have found a new record that might never be broken. It is definitely much harder to finish your stroll around the bases when you're being attacked by the other team....

Last Night's Winner: Buddy Comedies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the movie-going public that was treated to a hilarious preview of "Grown Ups" last night. If only all that basketball hadn't been in the way....

Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....

Coach Loses World Series Ring After "Messing Around" With Two Women Of Ill Repute
Pat Daneker, pitching coach of the Staten Island Yankees, lost the ring, a team-issued cell phone, and the contents of his wallet after an alcohol-fueled evening with two women in Tampa. It's the Yankee way....

Last Night's Winner: The Human Element
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those of us subject to the whims of our flawed humanity. Some of us blow calls at first base. Others spend the night teepeeing a Wikipedia page....

How Not To Leave A Message For A Woman You're Hoping To Date
Dudes: The follow-up phone call is important—but try not mention that you'll call again in one month because you're currently living with another woman you sort of care about, because you're also homeless. Save that for email. [Gawker]...

Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...

Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...

Blood Writes: This Knee Has A Mouth (WARNING: PUS)
My knee after taking a nasty tumble trail running and the aftermath, 20 stitches later — Howard S....

Last Night's Winner: Your Sex Life, Thanks To Bill Romanowski (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like you, if you read Romocop's pathetic sex column posted at despicable content publisher Associated Content, for which he's being paid literally pennies....

Dario Franchitti Shows Off His Trophy, Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...

Thanks To Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian Will Get Beer Thrown On Her If She Goes To Boston
"They gave it to my kids last time in Boston...[I] don't know how my wife is going to be able to sit in the crowd," Odom said, later adding that security might be needed."[OC Register via SBB]...

Dan Patrick's Garish Yellow Man Purse Spotted At DMB Show (UPDATE)
One reader caught the Dave Matthews (Band) show at Hartford on Saturday night and had the good fortune of sitting near Patrick and his family, bobbing along to "Ants Marching" and the like. But, seriously, what's with the bag?...

Chicago Monument Desecration Continues Unabated
A 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Finals has made the Blackhawks fans/statue vandals in Chicago drunk with power. They've moved on from a statue of a beloved sports icon to a statue of...something by Pablo Picasso. H/T Nick....

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....

Like All Rich And Graying New York Icons, Keith Hernandez's Mustache Summers In The Hamptons
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Indy 500 Used To Be Decadent And Depraved
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Oh Look, Players Are Bitching About The New World Cup Ball
It moves unpredictably. It feels like a plastic toy. Complaining about the new ball is a quadrennial tradition, and now it's not just the keepers. But Ballack and Lampard like it! (Ballack and Lampard were paid to say they like it.) [AP]...