as Page 2338 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you settle down for a long winter's nap ... • NFL: Denver at San Diego. (8 p.m.) Shanahan looks as close to an elf as you're gonna get. [ESPN] • Movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (8 p.m.) They say that Belichick's heart grew three sizes that day. [ABC] • Movie: The Godfather (9 ...

Look, Ugly Yankees Merchandise
So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear....

Roger Clemens Discovers YouTube
Our immediate observations, mostly of a hopefully amusing nature:...

About Last Night
What you missed while coughing up tinsel ... • NFL: Every time a bell rings, a Washington Redskins player gets his wings. • College football: Rock, a hula-baby, rock ... East Carolina 41, Boise State 38 • NHL: Boss Hossa ... Thrashers 3, Blues 2....

Downsizing Impacts Everything, Even Closers
Due to budgetary setbacks, today's NHL Closer and ... um, whatever the hell we were calling the college basketball thing will share a post. We apologize for the inconvenience, and we fought this thing as far as we could before we thought a Photoshop of a basketball and a hockey puck would look reall...

Tony Romo Distracted By Watching Marion Barber Run Through Linebackers
I'm sure everyone involved in the Dallas Cowboys organization would love to get home to their families by Sol Invictus, but they all have some unfinished business even after beating the Carolina Panthers 20-13 last night....

About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...

Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...

No, we're not doing a Deadspin Quote of the Year (although I'd rather enjoy the acronym "DQUOTY"). The Word of the Year and Sportshuman of the Year have given us enough radio buttons already. Fortunately, others are picking up the slack. The QUOTY turned out to be: "Don't Tase Me, Bro." Also in the ...

A total of 36 players will not travel with Florida State to the Music City Bowl for one reason or another. (Another reason being: mass suspension.) What might really help out the Seminoles would be to ask the refs if they could play most of the game 7-on-7. Failing that, change your confidence ratin...

Alex Legion Gets His Exodus After All
In our ongoing coverage of the dogmatic inevitability that Alex Legion will lead Kentucky to the Final Four, a tranquil atmosphere casts over the tumultuous world of college basketball....

Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...

Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....

They Don't Snowboard In Bikinis, So Ratings Suffer
• 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Memphis [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Papajohns.com Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati [ESPN2] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Planes, Trains And Automobiles [Comedy] • 2:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: UCLA at Michigan [CBS] • 2:30 p.m. — Movie: Goodfellas [Spike] • 3:00 p.m. — NC...

About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...

Dan Shanoff's Yearly Christmas Tome
Continuing a Christmas tradition on Deadspin (and, before that, other fine holiday establishments), Dan Shanoff presents a special holiday poem, dedicated to the many reindeer who pull the Deadspin sleigh — usually drunk, stoned or otherwise on crack. Happy holidays!...

Show Romo Your Love On Saturday
So, do you REALLY want to get into Tony Romo's head on Saturday? Show up at the game wearing a Jessica Simpson mask; hilarity is sure to ensue! It's all thanks to the new site RuinRomo.com; which I discovered thanks to a commenter. The site provides a Jessica Simpson mask which can be printed out, c...

Sure Beats The Kiss Cam
Unfortunately, the video above doesn't have the actual moment, though if anyone happened to catch it, we're all ears. Our favorite part, as pointed out by AA, is that the woman lists herself as a "sea captain." In Tennessee. Which is awesome....

About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the Global Orgasm For Peace ... • NFL: Willie Parker will be able to use the handicapped parking space at Steelers practice all next week. Pittsburgh 41, St. Louis 24. • College football: Navy and Utah pound each other like the Monitor and the Merrimack until one ...

No More Illini For Us For A While
We're not going to any more Illini sporting events; we're gonna need something to cheer us up....