as Page 2337 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Playoff Picture Explained
Country X is planning to attack country Y, and country Y is anticipating the attack. Country X can either attack by land or by sea. Country Y can either prepare for a land defense or a sea defense. If X launches an attack by sea and Y prepares a defense by sea the probability of a successf— BAH! I'm...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • All day — 2007 World's Strongest Man Competition [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic NHL: Canucks at Flames, Game 7 of '89 Smythe Division semifinals [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Payback [TBS] • 2:00 — Off-Road Racing: Baja 1000 [NBC] • 2:00 — Die Hard With A Vengeance [SPIKE] • 3:00 — Golf: PGA Tour 2007...
About Last Night
What you missed while swimming laps with Sean C. Reilly ... • NFL: History was never really my thing. Patriots 38, Giants 35. • Alamo Bowl: Live, JoePa, live! Penn State erases early deficit to beat Texas A&M. • NBA: Tyson Chandler, clairvoyant. Hornets 86, Cavs 76....
Another Reason For Nintendo-Endorsed Pine Tar
[Video via SI's Extra Mustard and Home Run Derby]...
Closing Time
Due to piss poor time management, today's NHL Closer will once again share a post with college football and basketball. Sorry for the inconvenience. I started playing '1942' on my new Capcom plug-and-play and well ... the red enemy planes kept giving me extra loop power-ups! What was I to do? Not us...
About Last Night
What you missed while frantically sculpting a purple Ferris wheel ... • Champs Sports Bowl: Eagles extend nation's longest meaningless bowl winning streak to eight. B.C. 24, Michigan State 21. • NBA: OK, this is getting a tad bit ridiculous. Blazers win their 12th in a row. • NHL: Three shots. Three...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that you're a myth and Bigfoot is real ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Dominic "Fainting Spell" Guinn vs. Robert "The Missouri Migraine" Hawkins, Vancouver, British Columbia (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College football: Champs Sports Bowl, Boston College vs. Michigan State, Orlan...
Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...
Wait, College Athletes Have Nice Cars?
Anyone who has gone to a university with a prominent sports program can tell you about the experience of seeing one of your player driving a vehicle that you wouldn't think they'd be able to afford. We can all justify it in our brains, hey, they just saved up for it, but we all know better. But do w...
Fumble! Everybody On It, Including Stepsons
By now, you've probably heard about Chris Jessie, Mack Brown's stepson who stupidly grabbed a loose fumble last night during Texas' thumping of Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl. It's pretty entertaining....
About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
About Last Night
It's official: The animal revolt has begun ... • Motor City Bowl: The Boilermakers are on us. Purdue 51, Central Michigan 48. • NBA: The post-Scott Skiles Era in Chicago begins pretty much as you expected it might. • College basketball: Eddie Sutton is back. No, seriously, he's coaching again. Dude,...
Presenting The Deadspin Word Of The Year
"Attention: It's 5 p.m., and the San Francisco Zoo is now closed. If you are still here by 5:15, we will release the tigers. Thank you." Yes, a tiger got loose at the SF Zoo on Tuesday, mauling three people, one of whom died. Tragic, to be sure; but imagine the mayhem if it would have been a Fuck Li...
Herman Edwards' Coors Light Commercial
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
Good Morning From Post-Christmas Haze
OK, so everyone has survived Christmas, yes? We didn't get much; we're a grownup now, so instead of getting Transformers toys, we get luggage. It came in handy; we do have a rather long trip coming up....
About Last Night
What you missed while tracking tiny infant Jesus via satellite ... • NBA: And up on the rim there arose such a clatter, I awoke from my coma to see what was the matter. Lakers 122, Suns 115. • Brett Favre wins USSA Male Athlete of the Year, narrowly beating Tom Brady and Nightmare Ant ... • Horse ra...
Merry Holidays, Everybody!
OK, so we're sorry you were stuck at work all day today: Obviously, we feel your pain. But regardless, it's time to go home now and get Santa drunk....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you settle down for a long winter's nap ... • NFL: Denver at San Diego. (8 p.m.) Shanahan looks as close to an elf as you're gonna get. [ESPN] • Movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (8 p.m.) They say that Belichick's heart grew three sizes that day. [ABC] • Movie: The Godfather (9 ...