at Page 2122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Kluwe And Nate Jackson Have Made Up
In August, former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson questioned in this space whether Vikings punter Chris Kluwe had the right to call Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankins, and Vincent Jackson "douchebags."...

Milan Lucic To Cop Questioning Him About A Fight With His Girlfriend: "Do You Know Who I Am?"
Bruins forward Milan Lucic was not charged after allegedly having an altercation with his girlfriend the other night in which he was "highly intoxicated and hostile," according to this report in the Boston Herald. In fact, the girlfriend told police she was "adamant about not being harmed." Police ...

Tim Tebow's Jersey Sales Are Down Because They're "All Out Of Size Sexy"
The Messiah Watch is officially on alert: Last week we learned that Tim Tebow's Broncos jersey—once record-setting—is only the tenth most popular in the NFL. This bright Denver man suggests that retailers must be "all out of size sexy"; another non-believer in KDVR's segment suggests it's because ...

Doug Flutie's Daughter Is A Patriots Cheerleader, After Four Rejections
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Alexa Flutie found the fifth time's a charm....

Roger Goodell Enforces The Laws That Roger Goodell Came Up With Just Now
Jim Tressel followed in the footsteps of his protégé Terrelle Pryor by jumping to the NFL, and he's going to suffer silently on the sidelines along with him. Yesterday the Colts announced Tressel will sit out the first six weeks, a penalty that was self-imposed because the Commissioner's office was ...

Listen As Mardy Fish Calls Jo-Wilfried Tsonga A "Dumbass" During Their U.S. Open Match
Fish doesn't speak French, you see. Though it was Tsonga who eventually ousted Fish, the highest-seeded American, in five sets yesterday....

Catholics, Conservatives Call For Brian Kelly's Job; Not Because He Lost, But Because He Cursed
Here is what we presume was Brian Kelly's internal monologue during Notre Dame's loss on Saturday:...

Jim Tressel Embarrasses Roger Goodell By Self-Imposing Goodell's Stupid Idea Of Justice
Has there ever been a string of punishments/non-punishments more baffling than Roger Goodell's recent run? Lacking a clear directive but wielding the personal-conduct policy like Zeus's discriminate lightning bolts, no one plays unless the Commish decides he's "ready," and the Commish doesn't have t...

Soccer Player Carlos Tevez Checked Himself Into A Clinic Because He Got Depressed And "Ate And Ate"
Today, in totally unexpected ledes, comes this one from the Daily Mail:...

I-Team: Who's The "Totally Single Virgin" Who Advertised Her Phone Number At Fenway Park Today?
Sometimes, investigative subjects make tracking them down an easy task for Deadspin's I-Team. Take Blonde with a Nearly Empty Beer and Dark Nail Polish, for instance. If you read the sign closely, you can see she was going for "Call me, I've never seen the Red Sox play before today." So don't read ...

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Nine Top 25 teams play tonight, including a pair of Top 20 matchups....

Weather Forces Evacuation Of Notre Dame Stadium
When the Notre Dame Fighting Irish retreated to the locker room at halftime, they were down 16-0 to Lou Holtz's kid's team. While Coach Brian Kelly was discussing their "performance" in the first half against South Florida, the stadium seating areas were evacuated on account of foul weather....

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Skip Holtz will try to beat the team Daddy Lou used to coach! How awesome is that?! So awesome that it's a network game! Oh, pretty much every Notre Dame game is on NBC, you say? Of course it is. Because that's how it was foretold....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

Cockblocked By Peruvian Hallucinogenics!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Italian Basketball Team Will Run Circles And Circles And Circles And Circles Around Everyone At EuroBasket
This clipboard belongs to Simone Pianigiani, the head coach of the Italian national basketball team, and we're told that it almost always resembles a toddler's masterpiece (and, yes, possibly an unintentional dong as well)....

Watch As Clay Hensley Takes Out His Frustration On A Water Bucket
It was only the third inning and the Marlins were still winning, but there were still no outs when Clay Hensley hit Ruben Tejada with a pitch and walked Lucas Duda with the bases loaded. After Hensley's 1-1 pitch to David Wright nearly sailed into Wright's chest, Jack McKeon just couldn't take it an...

11-Year-Old Does Not Get $50,000 For Impossible Shot Hockey Shot, But Gets Next Best Thing: Nothing
We once again check in with Nick and Nate Smith, the young twins who won a raffle to take a shot from center ice for $50,000. Nick's name was drawn; Nate took the shot. Almost immediately it became clear that the insurance company didn't want to pay out, and today it's official....

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....