at Page 2439 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who'll Be The Next Playmate Of The Year?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next four Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FOUR left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you straggle home from your Mitchell Report after-party ... • NBA: Washington at Miami; San Antonio at L.A. Lakers. How is Barkley not named in the Mitchell report? [TNT] • College women's volleyball: Division I tournament, semifinal, at Sacramento, Stanford vs. Southern California....

Bobby Cox And Friends
This picture was taken at a recent charity event in Atlanta for homeless pets. We cannot put a finger on why it mesmerizes us so, but man, it does. We feel like we just watched that home movie in "The Ring." And we're not sure why. But hey: No Chipper in the steroid report!...

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...

Last Chance To Buy Outdated T-Shirt
Anyone who has been annoyed — read: us — by the odd advertisements for Gawker Media T-shirts over the last month is in luck: The Gawker Shop is closing down, and you won't be bothered again. This also means this is your last chance to buy that "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirt before it vanishes for...

Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen
New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum....

Knicks Keep On Falling ...
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or trying to find Schenectady, NY on a map, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Jay Mariotti's embarrassing bandwagon jumping totally jinxes the Patriots ... • College basketball: Cincinnati at Xavier [ESPN2]; Vanderbilt at DePaul [ESPN Classic]. Enjoy some Blue Demon Almonds during the game. • NBA: Detroit at Houston; Utah at Phoenix. OK, it's a slow week for ...

We Congratulate "Florida Quarterback" On His Heisman Trophy
One of the nice things about college athletes is that you don't have to pay them. Heck, it might be the best thing about college athletes. Seriously, look at them: They can put their bodies and lives on the line every week, and we don't have to give 'em nothin'. Amazing, right? And if they do really...

Bobby Petrino Ends Up A Smashing Success In Atlanta
Ah, the halcyon days of January 7, 2007. Bobby Petrino was coming off a thrilling year as coach of Louisville, and he was seen as an offensive mastermind. He was Steve Spurrier, except, you know, he didn't mind working hard either. And then, very quickly, it all imploded....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your parrot comes back as a potato chip ... • NBA: Seattle at Chicago. Go Cubs! Oh, sorry; my mistake. Carry on. [WGN] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Philadelphia. Why no team named the Ice Bears? [Versus] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League; Real Madrid CF vs. SS Lazio, at Madrid. Taped. Isn't t...

That's A Lot Of Points, Folks
Well, the Sunday NFL spreads are out, and ... Oh My Lord. If you thought that there would be no way you'd touch the Jets-Patriots game, can Las Vegas tempt you with 24 1/2 points? And some freshly-baked lemon squares? That's right oddsmakers; Mangenius vs. Belicheat now features the largest point sp...

Is Tennis Mobbed Up?
We should have seen it coming: It seems that the Russian Mafia may have infiltrated pro tennis (this surprises me: I would have guessed chess). But don't worry, sports fans; we have our best man on the case. John McEnroe. The former American great points to questions surrounding tennis stars such as...

Why Vick's Gonna Be In The Slammer So Long
We remember Ron Mexico's contrite, emotional press conference from August, when he nearly broke down and talked about his love for the Lord. We found it an impressive confession. His initial confession was a bit less graceful....

Heat Check, Heat Rising, Etc., Etc.
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

Tonight's Episode Of The Vick Bowl
Under normal circumstances, this would be what we'd call a "dull" Monday Night Football game, the Saints at the Falcons. In the wake of the Ron Mexico business today, it is upgraded/downgraded to "insufferable."...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Nicholson attempts to sell out the Staples Center all by himself ... • NFL: New Orleans at Atlanta. On the same day that Michael Vick is sentenced? Irony, thy name is WWL. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Buffalo. They're the Bruins, because just try to walk around in Boston without being bo...

Just A Few More Weeks Until American Gladiators
Shouted over the PA, we hear directions given to these muscle-bound freaks of nature. The director says things like, "Howl for me, Wolf," and "More posing, Justice" and my personal favorite - "Look menacingly while you stare at your balls" (he was referring to the giant balls that were swinging from...

When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...