at Page 2539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yep, The Costume Works: We're Scared
If you were wondering what the Timberwolves' Mike James went as for Halloween this year — and we know you were — then now you know. He went as ... uh, this. Are we sure this isn't that Deelishis lady?...

You Stay Classy, Buffalo
The wisdom of sending more of our troops to Iraq is making less and less sense to us, mostly because there are bitter, liquored-up Bills fans wandering around with nothing to do. Meet Patriots' fan Barry Donaghey, who was simply trying to enjoy a tailgate celebration with his pregnant wife followi...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NCAA FB with Todd McShay: RUTGERS, BABY! • 1 p.m. Horse racing with Barbaro: OK, we made this one up. But $50 says a bunch of people submit questions anyway. Including Pat Forde. • 1 p.m. NCAA FB with Joe Schad: Joe Schad, you ar...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your Coca-Cola can Halloween costume — so popular last night — now becomes a sad shell of loneliness and despair ... • College football: Fresno State at Boise State. The Broncos undefeated? A WAC team headed for a Bowl Championship Series game? When did pigs start flying? [ESPN2] • ...

Jesus Gets An Automatic Major For Cross-Checking
Finally, the protection you need to ward off Miroslav Satan during the power play. Or possibly for that problematic away game against the New Jersey Devils. Over at Christian Throwback Jersey.com, no sport is untouched by the power of Christ. In the basketball section, for instance, there are even...

See? It's Not So Hard To Get Hired By ESPN
We've mentioned this before, but we have much sympathy for the plight of the veteran female sideline reporter. Lots of these women, Lesley Visser, Suzy Kolber, so on, have been working the NFL beat for years, and not only do you have to deal with Joe Namath trying to lick your face, you have to also...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy Baseball Focus: Um ... what? • 2 p.m. NBA with Kiki Vandeweghe: Did Larry Brown ever "flex the real hard juice card" when he coached you at UCLA? • 5 p.m. Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith: This may be the only reason I've seen...

NBA Roundup: Ring Of Fire
The NBA opened its regular season on Tuesday with two games ... hardly enough to action to get our basketball engines revved. But they did involve the Lakers and Heat, so let's examine Day One with a little tiny NBA Roundup....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your paperboy looks at you from outside, weeping softly ......

Breaking: Athletes Also Like to Jack Off to Internet
ESPN reports on a dangerous new problem facing that country's footballers:...

Free Darko Previews: Dwyane Wade
As established, we're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama storylines and sturm und drang and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tal...

EPSNU "Gay" Announcer Not Happy
Honestly, we were planning on laying off all the gay content for a bit (we can tell how riled up it gets you), but this just came in over the wire:...

Bigfoot Exposed?
We have no idea whether or not Bigfoot is real; heck, half the time we doubt the existence of our paperboy. But there is one brave group who is keeping the faith, and now they claim to have proof. BIRO (the Bigfoot Investigators and Researchers Organization) is blowing the lid off of this whole co...

Joe Torre Immediately Bought George Tickets to "A Chorus Line"
Pauper Players' Sunday afternoon performance of "Cabaret" was cut short when Department of Public Safety officials responded to a call that a man was suffering from chest pains, DPS spokesman Randy Young said. ...

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ......

Great Moments in Sports Journalism: Hell, We'll Give it a Shot
Over at Gawker we run a regular feature called Great Moments in Journalism where readers send in particularly egregious examples of overwriting, poor writing, excessive use of clich , or any other example of journalism gone wrong. We very rarely nominate sports pieces, since most of our readers don'...

It's An Intriguing Night In Prince Country
Kind of a quietly fascinating game tonight on "Monday Night Football:" The Patriots, who keep winning even though no one's particularly impressed by them, travel to face the Vikings, who have attempted to fix their sex boat-related woes by hiring a bald mustached man who appears to have never had se...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Gomer points the mortar at Sergeant Carter's crotch ... • NFL: New England at Minnesota. Doh! We forgot the key to the Metrodome. Can somebody climb in a window? [ESPN] • NHL: Chicago at Philadelphia. The only way this could be better is if the Hanson Brothers were playing. [Versus]...

We're Freaking McNuts, Man, And We McLove It
You know ... it's possible that Eagles fans are becoming rather upset with their team's play of late....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. BCS with Brad Edwards: Our latest foray into the Pacific Northwest was not unlike an extended stay at the Overlook Hotel, wouldn't you say? — USC fan. • 2 p.m. MLB with Buster Olney: Your time is through, Buster. Make your fina...