atp Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OK, For The Last Time: Plaxico Burress Was Not Wearing Sweatpants The Night He Shot Himself
The night he busted a cap in his thigh, Plaxico Burress was wearing jeans. This is a fact confirmed both by the New York County District Attorney's Office and Burress himself. He was not wearing sweatpants. There is as much proof that he wore sweatpants that night as there is that he wore a crinolin...
Ryan Howard Finally Not Worth $125 Million To The Philadelphia Phillies?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
When UGA Frat Boys Attack (Over a $105 Tailgate-Parking Bill)
Some scene setting: The AEPi chapter at the University of Georgia recently notified alumni that the cost of tailgating at the bros' house was going up....
Martellus Bennett Becomes Latest Player To Have Dong Shots Exposed By Scorned Female
Last week, Cowboy beat reporters wondered why Bennett was absent from the first few days of mini-camp. Bennett admitted yesterday he sprained his ankle doing "jump-ball" drills. Today, a cellphone pic self-portrait of him posing in the shower arrives....
And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....
The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
I had terrible back pain and I needed to lose weight. I lost sixty pounds in five months. This is how I did it....
UNC Freshmen Start The Summer Off Right By Drinking On A Party Boat
Pictured is UNC freshmore John Henson with two girls who are likely in his statistics study group. At least they appear to be having as much — if not more — fun as stuntman-to-be Tyler Hansbrough. [COED Magazine, via]...
Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....
Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....
Andray Blatche Really, Really Wanted That Triple-Double
We like to think players are so caught up in the game that they don't notice when they're approaching a statistical accomplishment. It's not true. Here's Andray Blatche doing everything humanly possible to get his 10th rebound....
Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...
Rick Majerus: Serial Child Squasher
Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse....
Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...
Arkansas Basketball: Gang Bangs And Rape LOLs On Twitter
No charges will be filed against three Arkansas basketball players accused of raping an 18-year-old girl, a matter to which one Razorback alluded earlier in the week in a LOLlingly idiotic Tweet....
Why Your Team Sucks: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Chances Are, You'll See This At The NFL Combine In 2010
Matthew Stafford's football-skeeting is pretty amazing. That's not supposed to sound pornographic. [Jimmy Fallon]...
Philadelphia Raises Its Championship Flag, Acts Accordingly
And it wasn't even Dollar Dog Night. But Phillies fans are not used to feeling superior and continue to adjust. Even though the frustration of 28 championship-less years has more or less disintegrated, there's obviously still a lot of bite with these puppies. A simple discourteous shove in Ashburn A...
Loyal Fandom, Taunting Or Performance Art?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Greg Robinson Reads Children's Classics
You've gotta feel for Greg Robinson. He seems like a nice enough guy, and by all accounts he's a decent coach. His heart's in the right place, and all that. But if you ever wanted a more vivid picture of what the strain of coaching a major college football team is like, take a look at the video belo...