att Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Is That Mustachioed Man?
Why ... that can’t be Ichiro? The Mariners’ special assistant to the chairman is not an active player or coach or trainer, so by MLB rule, he’s not allowed in the dugout during games. The gentleman photographed above during the first inning of yesterday’s loss to the Yankees, therefore, must not be ...
Put Ichiro In The Home Run Derby!
Here are two facts. 1) MLB may struggle getting marquee players in the Home Run Derby this year, with many of the best sluggers and biggest names reportedly not interested....
Mariners Reliever Ryan Cook Yelled "Shit!" So Loudly After Giving Up A Walk-Off Homer To Giancarlo Stanton, MLB Had To Edit It Out
The Yankees capped a comeback from down 5-0 with a Giancarlo Stanton walk-off home run to beat the Mariners 7-5. It was Stanton’s first walk-off as a Yankee. Cool story. We’re not here for that. We’re here for the swear word!...
<i>New Yorker</i> Film Critic Has Reservations About Children's Movie Because His Boner Kept Blocking The Screen
Have you seen Incredibles 2? If you liked 2004's The Incredibles, about a family of superheroes in a sort of midcentury-modern-flavored alternate universe America, you’ll likely enjoy its sequel very much. As you might expect from any big-budget sequel it’s a little less fresh than the original and ...
Senegal's M'Baye Niang Scores The Sneakiest Goal You'll Ever See
If you’ve never seen a goal like the one M’Baye Niang just scored for Senegal against Poland, you’re not alone. This is one of the most ridiculous and hilarious and brilliant stealth goals I’ve ever seen....
Punches Nearly Thrown In Near Brawl After Matt Kemp Trucks Robinson Chirinos At The Plate<em></em>
We’ve got ourselves a near donnybrook! Hands nearly thrown! Faces nearly smashed! Scores nearly settled!...
<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...
The Mariners Can't Really Be This Good, Can They?
On Monday night, the Seattle Mariners did something they’ve been doing a lot of lately—winning baseball games, baby. This particular game featured some things that most of their other recent wins have not, including 1) a good team as an opponent in the Angels and therefore 1a) two Mike Trout home ru...
True Ass-Brain Football Columnist Says Matt Patricia Risks Losing Lions Players Because Punishment Isn't Fun
Matt Patricia has been head coach of the Detroit Lions for roughly 19 minutes. It’s been a rocky time—mere moments after he accepted the job, the Detroit News reported on a sexual assault indictment in Patricia’s past, and the Lions organization needed much of the time since—and, frankly, the aid of...
Olivier Giroud, Matt<em></em> Miazga Bloodied In Pre-World Cup Friendly<em></em>
As if the French didn’t have enough to worry about—seeing their national team down after one half to the U.S. in its last tune-up before the World Cup—now superstar Olivier Giroud has left the match alongside Matt Miazga after the two clashed heads on a corner kick....
Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic...
Clay Matthews Takes Comebacker To The Face In Charity Softball Game
Clay Matthews was pitching in a charity softball game in Wisconsin Saturday when a sharply hit comebacker nailed him directly in his face, in front of the mound:...
What In The Hell Is Pete Carroll Talking About?
Seahawks coach Pete Carroll had a few really good motivational anecdotes, and then he ran out of them and his players stopped listening to him. Carroll truthered the 9/11 attacks to a four-star general. Carroll’s players started to wonder if he was maybe more Chauncey Gardiner than actual genius whe...
Courageous TV Reporter Lays Out To Catch Loose Horse On Track
Hayley Moore, a TV reporter for At The Races, provided a bit of action on the British horse-race channel Tuesday when she wrangled a loose horse with one hand. That’s some impressive extension....
Tennis Player's Meltdown Ends With Smashed Racket And "Broken" Banana
One tennis player’s violent racket-smashing meltdown at Sunday’s ATP Challenger final in Busan, Korea had devastating consequences for a banana....
J.J. Watt Offers To Pay Funeral Costs For Santa Fe High School Shooting Victims
A gunman armed with a shotgun and a pistol murdered ten innocent people at Santa Fe High School, outside Houston, on Friday. A relatively minor concern for those victims’ families and friends will be how to foot funeral costs for their loved ones, but this news will nonetheless ease their terrible b...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is The Idiot Racist Lawyer Sprinting Away From News Cameras
Aaron Schlossberg, the New York City lawyer who was caught on video dressing down restaurant employees for speaking Spanish and threatening to call U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement on them because he believed they were undocumented, is having a rough time since activist Shaun King released t...
Robinson Canó Suspended 80 Games After Testing Positive For Banned Drug
Mariners second baseman Robinson Canó has been suspended for 80 games after failing a drug test. Domincan journalist Héctor Gómez first reported that Canó would be suspended, with Ken Rosenthal confirming shortly afterward. According to MLB, Canó tested positive for Furosemide, a diuretic that is ba...
Ichiro Survives Retirement, Fills In As Mariners Bench Coach
Asked last spring what his retirement might someday look like, Ichiro said “I think I’ll just die.” Which made his sudden retirement, earlier this month, darkly fascinating, if not downright alarming—would Ichiro fall down dead immediately after making the announcement? Would he lay down tiredly, de...
Lions President: Team "Followed The Rules" In Hiring Of Matt Patricia
The conversation around Detroit’s hiring of Matt Patricia has, for obvious reasons, wandered far afield from whether Patricia is qualified purely in football terms for the job of head coach, to how it is possible that the Lions were unaware of an indictment for sexual assault in Patricia’s past. NFL...