Auburn Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Auburn Wrests Title Of "Team Everyone Wants To Play" From Arkansas
Arkansas beat Auburn today, which in itself wouldn't be so strange except that as recently as this morning it was reasonable to ask whether Arkansas would ever win another game, ever, ever. The Hogs were a preseason top-10 team that lost f̶i̶v̶e̶ four games—in September. If someone was to cushion th...

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

These Deadbeat Parents Fell For The Old "Free Tickets To The Iron Bowl" Trick
The Lee County Sheriff's Office in Opelika, Ala. took a creative approach to rounding up a few parents who'd fallen way behind in their child support payments: they told them they'd won free tickets to the annual Iron Bowl, and then they arrested them when they came to collect on the prize. It's l...

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Four Auburn Players Arrested On Robbery Charges
Four Auburn football players—Antonio Goodwin, Shaun Kitchens, Mike McNeil and Dakota Mosley—were arrested today and charged with burglary, robbery, and theft of property, after an incident this morning....

ESPN3 Was Creepily Fixated On Cam Newton's Body All Afternoon
ESPN3 composed its love letter to Cam Newton today, with more than four hours of filming him walking around the field at Auburn's official pro day. Viewers were treated to Cam posing in backpack, Cam joking with teammates, Cam bending over to tie his shoes, Cam stretching his legs, and at the very...

'Bama Fan Who May Have Been A State Trooper Charged with Poisoning Auburn's Trees
Harvey Almorn Updyke, a 62 year-old from Dadeville, Ala., has been arrested for poisoning the beloved oak trees at Aurburn's Toomer's Corner. Updyke, according to his Facebook profile, is a retired Texas State Trooper and a dedicated 'Bama fan (note the patterned hat; he also has a Facebook friend n...

Alabama Football Staffer Fired For Playing "Take the Money and Run" Before Iron Bowl
The university announced that the part-time employee was fired for playing "unauthorized" music at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The unauthorized music also happened to be directed at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton....

For Sale: The Laptop Cam Newton Stole
According to an emailer named "A Person With Connections" the laptop that Auburn's quarterback whipping boy Cam Newton stole from that poor kid in Florida has been recovered and is now for sale on the Scuzz Money Market. Here's his pitch....

Outback Bowl Open Thread: Auburn. Northwestern. Go.
The Throbbing Purple of Northwestern face-off against the Auburn Eldricks. What say you, Todd McShay?...

Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....

Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...

College Football Roundup: Chase Daniel and Warren Buffett Are Boyzzz
The most shocking image of the college football weekend occurred in the second half of Missouri-Nebraska. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Missouri hung 52 on Nebraska before the third quarter ended. It was finding out that Missouri’s chubby and short quarterback who will win the Heisman...

College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...

College Football Roundup Week 5: The Saga of Destroyed College Gameday Signs
Each week more signs appear behind the stage at ESPN's College Gameday. Some are original and funny (Knowshon Crossing sign with his leaping outline), some are entirely inside jokes (let's make a sign with our friend's name on it and hold it up for three hours early in the morning), and some are de...

College Football Preview: The Blackout Is Coming to Georgia!
If you stayed up past midnight on the east coast last night to watch USC-Oregon State right now you're blearily wiping your eyes and cursing the decision as lunch nears and all you want to do is crawl under your desk and sleep. If you're like me you might also be questioning why you let Birmingham,...

LSU Finds Its New (Unlikely) Hero at QB, Downs Auburn
The annual Auburn-LSU showdown lived up to the hype last night, as redshirt freshman QB Jarrett Lee found Brandon LaFell with an 18-yard touchdown pass with just over a minute remaining. That strike proved to be the difference, as the sixth ranked Tigers pulled out a tough road win, and now have dr...

Auburn Dean Concerned His Students Might Do Something Embarrassing On National Television
Here's a letter from Auburn's dean of students Dr. Johnny Green that was sent out to the student population (then to us), prepping them for the big game against LSU this weekend. This seems like it could possibly backfire. No booing! ...