aw Page 409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ron Artest Is Still A Little Confused About Why Deadspin Was Calling His Phone
Here's what he told the LA Times: ""You know what man, it was kind of crazy," Artest said. "People are trying to pull not even pranks, but try to stir something up that doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't make any sense. People call you and then pull pranks. I never shied away from the media. ...
The Sucker Karate-Kicking Goalkeeper Could Soon Be Charged With Attempted Murder
Remember that whole U-20 soccer tournament brawl in Brazil that came to an abrupt halt when evil Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind? Well, you can likely tack an attempted-murder charge onto the lifetime ban that Gustavo's facin...
The Bengals Invite Carson Palmer To Retire
Back in January, former No. 1 draft pick Carson Palmer informed the Cincinnati Bengals that he would "contemplate retirement" if ownership refused to honor his request for a trade. At a press conference today, Bengals owner Mike Brown invited him to begin his contemplation:...
The Sucker Karate Kick Is Much More Evil Than The Sucker Punch
After a third-round game in a U-20 soccer tournament in Minas Gerais, Brasil on Monday, the players brawled. That brawl suddenly ended, however, when Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind and with no warning....
Spencer Hawes Honors The Seattle SuperSonics With A Terrible Haircut
The people of Seattle will go to great lengths to honor their former team. They will heckle billionaires. They will refuse free, courtside seats to the NBA playoffs. And they will shave an outline of the Seattle Space Needle into the backs of their heads....
My Frustrating Sexting Sessions With Ron Artest
At first, I thought Ron Artest, the man you may now know as Metta World Peace, and I could become friends. Blame my naivete, ego, or optimism, but I really thought this could be platonic....
The Strange Daily Commute Of Kei Igawa, Minor League Superstar
Bill Pennington has a splendid New York Times piece today about Kei Igawa, the other Japanese pitcher who came over to the US in the winter of 2006. The Red Sox splurged on the posting fee for Daisuke Matsuzaka—who, let's not forget, had two nice seasons before becoming the biggest Boston blight sin...
Miracle On Ice Co-Opted For, What Else, A Presidential Campaign Ad
This week Tim Pawlenty launched his "American Comeback" campaign with an Iowa TV spot featuring the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team. Of course that means ABC's broadcast, which the Pawlenty team didn't get permission from ABC Sports to use (read: they didn't want to pay for it, and it's definitely not...
Alonzo Mourning Sued For Hit-And-Run Incident Following Chris Bosh's Wedding
In the hours before dawn on Sunday, Mourning smashed his Porsche into a disabled car on a Miami Beach causeway, sending it rolling. Mourning got out of his car, went to check on the victim (he was not seriously injured) and drove home, where he called police and later returned to the scene in his wi...
Lamar Odom, Just Involved In An Accident That Killed A 15-Year-Old, Is Spokesman For "Life Insurance Awareness Month"
Per the website of LIFE Foundation: A Non-Profit Organization, "beginning in August, [Lamar] Odom's story will be broadcast nationally in TV and radio public service announcements (PSAs). The PSAs will also be available on LIFE's website during the September campaign at www.lifehappens.org. Include...
Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush's Kardashian-Lookalike Current Girlfriend
Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New O...
If This Doesn't Warm Your Heart, You're Awful
We've learned a lot about fan psychology when it comes to foul balls. We've seen adults snatch them away from children; we've seen kids sulk until they're rewarded; we've seen grown men devote their sad lives to catching baseballs. There's something about that little sphere made of cork, yarn and ...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...
Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Court Bitchslaps Wannabe Cheerleader
This is a story of how awful high school girls are, and how petty cheerleading politics can be, and how an overbearing stage mom get take this bullshit all the way to a federal appeals court. But mostly it's the story of how satisfying it can be to see justice done, with usually staid jurists writin...
UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
Upcoming Reality Show Will Follow Sheriff's Deputy Butterbean Around
Step aside, Steven Seagal: Lawman. There's a new novelty cop in town, and, well, it's former heavyweight fighter Butterbean....
Baseball Game Interrupted By Man In Wedding Dress
Play was stopped at the Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta on Saturday evening so that police officers could take down a streaking fan in a wedding dress. This captivated the crowd and beguiled Davey Johnson....
Watch Jose Reyes Bust Heavily Autotuned Reggaeton Rhymes With The Best Of 'Em
Jose Reyes is awesome at baseball—he bats .354/.398/.529 at the premier defensive position, and that's to say nothing of how exciting he is with a full head of steam, sliding into third after cracking one into the gap....