aw Page 433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: "Bo Outlaw" And "Glenn Robinson" Hit Up A Harvard Party
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Bo Outlaw and Glenn Robinson....

A Victory For David File is a Victory for Flashers Everywhere
Great news out of New Zealand: Lawn bowler David File's 10-year ban resulting from when he "flopped out my old fella" to tell teammates they were "playing like dicks" has been overturned!...

U.S. Open Upper-Decker Fight Inspires Whitlockian "Defense of Jay Mariotti"
Yes, Jason Whitlock knows (allegedly) whipping your girlfriend around by her hair is bad....

When It Comes To Fans Fighting Fans, It's All About The U
As brought to our attention by our own lt. winslow, the US Open has nothing on last night's Miami/FAMU brawl in the seats. Be sure to watch for orange shirt/mullet guy believing he can fly....

Now They're Punching Each Other At The U.S. Open
A fight broke out in the stands at Arthur Ashe Stadium last night at the U.S. Open, briefly stopping play during an otherwise lackluster match between Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner. Everyone seems to be brawling these days....

Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....

Now <em>Turkey</em> Wants To Take Away Your Right To Check Out Cheerleaders
Fresh off news that dancers at the FIBA world championship had to overdress for USA-Iran, we now get word that their services won't be required during Turkey's games from now on. Man, if I didn't hate Hedo Turkoglu before... [NYT]...

Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint
A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com]...

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....

Lineman On Moped Meets Pickup Truck, Truck Wins
Click to view Iowa center Josh Koeppel was tooling around campus Monday morning, when he had a little run-in with a Ford F-150. Now there's video, and it's clear Koeppel forgot to flick his truck stick....

Remembering Those Halcyon Days Of The U.S. Open When Tennis Players Could Freely Call An Umpire An "Abortion," Twice
"You are an abortion," Jimmy Connors says to a U.S. Open umpire in the video above, along about the 3:30 mark. "You are an abortion, do you know that?" The umpire nods gravely, almost as if to say, hmm, yes, it's possible....

Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....

Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....

A Sex Addict Relapses: An Ex-Girlfriend, A Panty Flash, And Mark Cuban
Well, let's get it out the way — it didn't take me very long to relapse after leaving sex rehab....

Bengals Cheerleader Does Not Have Venereal Diseases, Court Says
Holy gonorrhea! Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones won $11 million from a libel suit against The Dirty.com, which ran an item alleging she was all jacked-up with STD's courtesy of her bed-hopping ex-boyfriend. Not so.[Cincinnati.com]...

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

Tony Romo Is Banging A Former Cowboys Intern Who Can't Subtract
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tony Romo's new main squeeze, Candice Crawford....

MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....