aw Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Young Texas Footbrawl Fan: "Woo! We Got One of 'Em Hurt!"
Oh, the psychology of the Lone Star State high-school-football-scrimmage observer. This lil ditty here's from a Spring/Clear Spring preseason affair that done turned scrappy, so sayeth the people on 5atexasfootball.com....

Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Nenad Krstic Was Arrested For Throwing That Chair
Following yesterday's basketbrawl at the Acropolis Tournament, Athens police arrested Nenad Krstic for his role in the fight since his chair hit Yannis Bouroussis, leaving Bouroussis with a "bloody wound on the side of his head." Plate-breakingly bizarre updates inside....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

Greeks And Serbs Fight It Out On The Basketball Court, With Their Fists
The Acropolis Tournament in Athens ended today when the Greek and Serbian teams got into a bench-clearing brawl. Come for the punching, stay for the Nenad Krstic chair-throwing. [AP]...

Community College Baseball Player Has The Heart Of A Champion
Alec Cortez, of San Bernardino Valley College, sent this video to more than 100 schools, just looking for a chance to show of his skills. And what skills they are....

Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....

Big Yankees Fan, Evoking Lady Gaga, Says We All Missed His Video's Comedic Subtleties
I know a lot has changed in the past 24 hours, but surely you remember Michael LaPayower's homage to pride, power, pinstripes and Derek Jeter. If not, take a moment to reacquaint yourself....

Jayhawks AD Spreads His Wings With Style
In Lew Perkins' defense, he does look like big smooth bird who just gets what Orville and Wilbur were going for....

Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....

Here's Why Canada Should Lose its Baseball Privileges (Tha Remix)
Just when I thought the instant-classic "Brent Bowers Grabs Ankles, Repeatedly Calls Openly Gay Ref a Faggot" routine would be the last post about Edmonton-involved baseball, along came Thursday's Edmonton East Park Orioles game....

Who Is The Medal-Winning Olympian Turned Boozehound Law School Attendee?
We have your newest case here. It concerns a woman that won a medal at the 2008 Olympics. She's spent this summer boozing and shmoozing as a summer associate at Milbank Tweed. You must find her....

Remembering The Greatest Basebrawl Of All Time
Twenty-six years ago today, the Braves and the Padres decided to forgo their obligations of playing baseball and instead sporadically cleared their benches and punched each other in the face. It's one of the best baseball fights ever, if not the best....

Francisco Rodriguez Arrested For Allegedly Beating Up Father-In-Law In Clubhouse
The Mets closer is in police custody and charged with assault after sending his father in law to the hospital after the Mets' loss tonight....

The Reds-Cardinals "Brawl" Derided For Your Pleasure
For a second, last night's Cardinals-Reds "brawl" was pretty exciting, but only in the sense of "Oh, this'll be good." And then it wasn't good. For this reason, it deserves to be mocked. With video! Three times!...

Ten-Year Ban For Whipping Out His Junk
One of New Zealand's premier lawn bowlers is facing a decade-long ban from the sport after he "flopped out my old fella" to tell his teammates they were "playing like dicks." New Zealand's a strange, strange place....

Let's Laugh At Russell Okung's Useless Holdout
Okung wanted fewer years, and more guaranteed money than Eric Berry. He got neither....

LeBron James Is Going To Fix The South Florida Housing Market
Today's newest LeBron news: he's going to fix the housing market in the Miami area because so many people want to be nearer to his effervescence, witness spectacular basketball, and jump on and off the bandwagon as close to home as possible....

John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....