aw Page 436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Microsoft Is Pretty Much Running Seattle Sports
It's not just the WNBA team that's a walking advertisement for Microsoft. The Sounders, Seahawks, and even Pete Carroll's draft strategy are all being brought to you by Bill Gates' brainchild....

Lawrence Frank Drops F-Bomb On ESPN's "First Take"
The old Nets coach is still new to live television, so perhaps he wasn't aware that he can still be heard even after a segment ends. Then again, Barkley's been doing this for years and experience hasn't helped him. [YouBeenBlinded]...

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
Will Bulls-Cavs be half as good as Bulls-Celtics? Will the Atlanta Hawks learn to "Fear the Deer?" Can the Celtics shake off some half-season rust and stop Los Heat? Will the Nuggets rally in the name of their ailing coach?...

Book Excerpts That <em>Do</em> Suck: Rick Reilly® On Chess Boxing
Rick Reilly has farted out a new book, Sports from Hell, and ESPN has a sampling: "Q: What wears one glove, chases queens, and isn't Michael Jackson? A: A chess boxer." [ESPN]...

Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte
Sam's down in the comments, awaiting both your observations on America's sham meritocracy and your penis humor. Go say hi. Don't forget to read the excerpt and buy the book....

Excerpt From <em>The Ask</em>: "... And I Pictured Titboning Vargina In A Rare Books Room"
Below is the first chapter of The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte, our funniest and foremost chronicler of fuck-up Americana. Read it and come back at 3 p.m. for a live chat with the author in a followup post....

Stay Away From Atlanta This Weekend
In addition to the Hawks' playoff game, downtown Atlanta will play host to two separate "Freaknik" festivals, something called the Sweetwater 420 Fest, a tango convention, and a robotics competition. Hijinks are sure to ensue. [AJC]...

Another Jayhawk Goes Pro — This One, Without Any College Experience
A Kansas law school student, not so confident about his job prospects, declares for the NBA Draft, thinking his chances will be better there. Well, they'll be better than Wayne Simien's, anyway. [Kansas Law Free Press]...

Last Night's Winner: Steeler Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good of people of Pittsburgh, who don't stand for miscreants, rabble rousers, or hippies. Plus, their heroes very rarely get charged with crimes....

Today In "Holy Crap, This Guy Is Buying An NBA Team": Prokhorov Does Business With A Dictator
New Jersey legislator Bill Pascrell Jr. is calling for an inquiry that into the sale of the Nets because prospective owner Mikhail Prokhorov may or may not have done business with reigning Dictator of the Year, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe. Of course....

People At Marlins Games Still Punching Each Other In The Vicinity Of Video Cameras
While lacking the sweep and drama of last year's brawl, this Paul Greengrass-ian fight from Saturday's Dodgers-Marlins game had the virtue of being sparked by inebriated legume tossers. Topic: Hasn't the use of Steam's classic jam become stale? H/T David....

Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....

USA Swimming's Monstrous Coaches And The "Culture of Sexual Misconduct"
An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe?...

Baseball's New Lady Knuckleballer is Just Another 18-Year Old Girl Partying in Mexico
Two sentences from this article on US minor-league baseball's newest acquisition, Eri Yoshida: "She taught herself how to throw a knuckleball from watching a video of Tim Wakefield" and "The Outlaws open their season at Tijuana on May 21." [MLB.com]...

A Softball Diamond Is Probably Not What She Had In Mind
A Cincinnati-area softball coach proposed to the coach of his rival team before their game Wednesday. Somehow, I don't think their players will be following suit (not in Ohio, anyway). [Enquirer]...

Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....

The Masters Invaded By Airborne Pranksters Asking Tiger Woods About "Bootyism"
Augusta National's authoritarian fussbudgets do not yet hold dominion over the skies, as proved by whoever hired this plane to circle above The Masters today. Also, it's $1 wing night at Déjà Vu. [Video via ESPN, surprisingly.]...

Did Tiki Barber Sleep In His Girlfriend's Dorm Room? (And Other Important Questions)
The New York Post did some more homework on Tiki Barber and his 23-year-old lady friend by interviewing everyone who has ever known, lived with or served the duo pasta. The question now is who you choose to believe?...