ball Page 489 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rolling Stones, San Francisco 49ers, City Of Santa Clara All Extremely Mad At Each Other
The Mercury News has published a surprisingly entertaining story about a three-way spat currently raging between the Rolling Stones, the San Francisco 49ers, and the city of Santa Clara. The fight is over various logistical headaches that come with trying to put on a concert at the Niners’ stadium, ...
The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Team USA Embarrasses Itself At FIBA World Cup, Jerry Colangelo Follows Suit
Team USA lost its second straight FIBA World Cup game this morning in China, falling 94-89 to Serbia in a fifth-place consolation game, after yesterday’s embarrassing loss to France eliminated the American team from championship contention. Now the team cannot finish higher than seventh place in the...
The Story Behind The Biggest Brawl In WNBA History
Last month, Brittney Griner of the Phoenix Mercury and Kristine Anigwe of the Dallas Wings got into a fight, which resulted in six ejections and five suspensions. It was the largest WNBA fight since 2008, when the Detroit Shock (now the Dallas Wings) and the Los Angeles Sparks were part of brawl tha...
Jets Quarterback Sam Darnold Could Be Out Several Weeks With Mono
Because nothing can ever go right for the Jets, Sam Darnold has mono. Darnold, the man Jets fans are relying on to become a franchise-defining quarterback, has apparently been very busy smooching lately, and as a result has contracted the disease you probably haven’t thought about since that one tim...
Jordin Canada Might Just Be The Heir To Sue Bird's Throne
The defending champion Seattle Storm took the expected fall that came with a pair of devastating preseason injuries, going a mere 18-16 in 2019 after dominating the league with a 26-8 record last year. But even without reigning MVP Breanna Stewart or living legend Sue Bird, the Storm managed to snea...
We Are Drowning In Dingers
The home run that made baseball history was pretty workaday, as they go. Sure, it was a big moment in the game, breaking a seventh-inning tie to give the Orioles a 5-2 lead over the Dodgers. But this game didn’t really matter to either team, and Jonathan Villar’s homer—the 6,106th homer hit in MLB t...
Dwight Howard Has A Purple Car For The Most Dwight Howard Of Reasons
There are plenty of perfectly good reasons to enjoy the color purple. Among them, I look quite fetching in purple shirts, which is no small matter. It’s a lovely color. If I tell you that Dwight Howard enjoys the color purple, right away you are going to assume that it’s for a dumb and bad reason. W...
Kobe Bryant Finds Outlet For Passive Aggression In Youth Basketball Team
Kobe Bryant, when not sloppily cosplaying Michael Jordan, has been sharing occasional updates on his Mambas youth team. Two days ago, the retired Laker congratulated the girls after they beat an opponent by 88 points. Yesterday, he shared an image of a fourth-place trophy they received two years ago...
The Cowboys Look Fun As Hell
Right, right, right: It came against a crummy opponent whose ineptitude no doubt made things far easier than they had to be, and it was only Week 1. But in terms of personnel, play design, and execution, the Cowboys on Sunday showed they’re capable of being as forward-thinking and efficient as any o...
The Secret Fun Of Wild Card Bumper Cars Without An Audience
Having been surprised and inspired by Comrade Burneko’s scolding paean to the virtues of minor league baseball (namely, that it’s fun and people you don’t hang out with seem to like it so it deserves its continued existence based solely on that fact), I decided to avert my eyes from the smoldering r...
What Are The Brewers Without Christian Yelich?
In his first at-bat in an eventual Brewers win against the Marlins on Tuesday night, reigning NL MVP and 2019 MVP frontrunner Christian Yelich fouled a pitch off his right knee and fell to the ground in what looked like excruciating pain. The Brewers right fielder left the game, and not long after, ...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
The First Game Of The Rest Of Our Lives
Eighteen years ago this morning I awoke to shouts from the hall of my dorm. “We’re going to war! We’re going to war!” The origin of the shouting was my neighbor Brian, known for his histrionics, so I went back to sleep. But soon after, I received a call from my high school quarterback, Justin, livin...
Cleveland Browns Ban Wrong Guy From Stadium For Beer-Pouring Incident
Pour one out for poor Eric Smith, whom the Cleveland Browns banned for life from their stadium for dumping beer on visiting Tennessee Titans players this past Sunday—even though he was nowhere near the stadium at the time. Just be careful not to get any on anybody, or the Browns will have some rando...
Nolan Arenado Unmoved By The Mightiness Of His Own Dinger
The Rockies stink, but their star third baseman, Nolan Arenado, does not. Last night, he reminded everyone just how good he is by crushing a 482-foot homer that one-hopped its way out of the stadium:...
Pirates Reliever Requires Season-Ending Surgery After Locker Room Fight With Other Pirates Reliever
The woeful Pittsburgh Pirates fined relievers Kyle Crick and Felipe Vázquez for their roles in a locker room altercation prior to the team’s game against the Giants Monday night. Worse and dumber than that, the altercation led to an injury to Crick’s throwing hand, requiring surgery, and he is done ...
Christian Yelich Fractures Kneecap With Foul Ball, Is Done For The Season
Well, this blows. The Milwaukee Brewers are very much in the hunt for the second National League Wild Card spot, trailing the Cubs by just a game and a half. But their pursuit from this point on will no longer include the services of reigning NL MVP Christian Yelich, who has been ruled out for the ...
Ronald Acuña Jr. Robs Home Run, Immediately Turns It Into Inside-The-Park Home Run
You would think that robbing a home run at the wall comes down to getting a good jump, timing your leap, and having the insane hand-eye coordination to rip the ball out of the sky with your off hand, while crashing into a padded wall. Turns out that’s only most of it. As Ronald Acuña Jr. learned in ...
Just So You're Up To Speed, This Is Gardner Minshew
Quarterback Nick Foles fractured his clavicle in the Jacksonville Jaguars’ first game of the season, and his injury meant the door was wide open for rookie Gardner Minshew to strut right through it, because Gardner Minshew looks like a guy who struts, or at least saunters....