ben Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Ben And The Jets Tried To Out-Suck Each Other
Ben Roethlisberger came into today's game on a historically great run, having thrown for a combined 12 touchdowns and 862 yards in his last two games. Because the Jets suck, everyone on earth expected them to get carved up today, and then Big Ben went and crapped the bed. But that didn't stop the ...
Browns WR's Son Now Knows Which Team To Support
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins's son admitted his favorite players were Bengals back in October. Bad idea, kid. After a lot of introspection, however, Hawkins's son was allowed back in the house on Friday....
Bengals RB Jeremy Hill Says The 6-3 Browns Are Still Bad
Holy crap, the Browns are at the top of their division (tied with the Steelers). They beat the Bengals 24-3 last night to improve to 6-3, their best start since football returned to Cleveland in 1999. Hoyer the Destroyer! An impressive defense! Josh Gordon's coming back soon! But Bengals running bac...
Bad Molly Takes Colorado State Student On Insane, Masturbatory Rampage
We've heard of poppin' some molly and sweatin', but not popping molly, snorting some coke, car-jacking an ambulance, careening every which way through traffic, and then jerking off in the police station. That'd probably make for a better song, though....
Bengals Fan Is Having A Wonderful Time
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...
Andy Dalton Has No Use For Your Football "Rules"
You'll have to forgive Andy, it's his first day in Pop Warner and he's not quite clear on how to play football yet....
The Phillies Would Love To Trade Ryan Howard
GM Ruben Amaro took two major actions at Philadelphia's organizational meetings last week. One was to distribute to all baseball personnel a handbook titled "The Phillies Way." (Do not attempt to actually read "The Phillies Way." It'll be like opening the Ark of the Covenant and your face will melt ...
Canadian College Football Fans Are Adorable Berserkers
Sixty years ago, LIFE magazine tapped into the joys and tortures of football fandom by traveling north of the American border, where collegians in Ontario were positively freaking out over a rare win on the gridiron. All these years later, there's something quite sweet about the pictures—a reminde...
A Total Eclipse of the Sonny: The Night 'The Greatest' Was Born
This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Rumble in the Jungle. A lot has been written about that fight. Movies have been made about it. People have wept and torn their hair and rolled in the grass, beating their heels against the ground, because of that fight. It was a mighty fight. A remarkabl...
Colts-Steelers Was Pure, Uncut, High-Grade Offense
The Patriots produced a show for the 1 p.m. slate by hanging 51 points on the Bears, who I would imagine are reading the papers this morning and realizing they had a game yesterday. The Steelers decided to match that total for the 4 p.m. round, the main difference being that a few of the Colts decid...
Browns WR Exiles 2-Year-Old Son From House For Liking Bengals
Andrew Hawkins played three seasons for the Bengals, but he signed with the Browns this offseason. The wide receiver had to uphold the AFC North rivalry after Hawkins's two-year-old son said his favorite players were Bengals receivers Mohamed Sanu and A.J. Green....
The Rams' Balls-Out Special-Teams Play Was Brilliant Fun
Let's take the time to praise the enormous stones on the Rams' coaching staff for calling two of the most exciting and least anticipated trick plays of the season: a fake punt and, before that, a fake punt return. Each played a huge part in St. Louis's upset win over Seattle....
The Colts Are Beating The Crap Out Of Giovani Bernard
Whatever kind of day you're having, it's not as bad as Giovani Bernard's. These two plays happened in the same series....
Report: NFL Will Investigate Vontaze Burfict's Ankle-Twisting
After complaints from the Panthers alleging that Bengals LB Vontaze Burfict was giving a little extra on two tackles and trying to twist Cam Newton's and Greg Olsen's ankles clean off, the NFL will reportedly review tape and consider further discipline for Burfict. ...
Player Brutally Punched Out Of Rugby Grand Final Surprisingly OK With It
St. Helens halfback Lance Hohaia, forced to leave Saturday's Super League Grand Final after being concussed by a pair of obscene punches from Wigan's Ben Flower just two minutes into the match, was pretty mellow about the whole event afterward and dismissed it as the sort of thing that happens som...
Vontaze Burfict Is Back To Committing Post-Play Misdemeanors
Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict, whose college career consisted of spectacular plays punctuated by pugilism (sometimes against his own teammates) and who has at least once in his pro career delivered that most unkind of love taps is again accused of playing the heel after yesterday's game aga...
Disgraced, Soon-To-Be-Former Navajo Nation President Attends 'Skins Game
As part of his campaign to convince you that his team's name isn't racist, Dan Snyder took in today's game with Ben Shelly, president of the Navajo Nation. Once again, Dan probably should have done a little more research....
Bengals, Panthers Waste Everyone's Time, Tie
The Bengals and Panthers played four quarters and couldn't find a winner. They played another 15 minutes, but the game ended at 37-37. You know what that means: No one's happy!...