br Page 1016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Playoff Roundup: We Warmed Up For The 19th
• We had to run out to see In Her Shoes in the ninth inning of the Astros-Braves game yesterday. Brad Ausmus was coming up, so we knew we wouldn't miss anything. Anybody catch what happened? • Our favorite part of the game is that if the game went so long that Roger Clemens wouldn't have been able...

NFL Roundup: Davenport Craps Out
• After intercepting an Anthony Wright pass in the end zone, Lions defensive back Dre Bly honored injured Packers running back Najeh Davenport by doing a spitting-image impersonation of him. Which was nice, we thought. • After yesterday, we'll just say that we're going to really enjoy watching Terr...

Live Blog: Braves vs. Astros, Game 1
If you're stuck at work at 4 p.m. ET or fortunate enough to live in a time zone that doesn't involve staying up past midnight just to watch a darned playoff baseball game, we're here to help. We'll be live-blogging Game One of the Atlanta Braves-Houston Astros game. We will do our best to appear m...

Playoffs Pants Party: Braves vs. Astros
As Astros blogger Crawfish Boxes points out, the general consensus about the Atlanta-Houston series is that the Astros should win going away. We understand this, somewhat — we begrudgingly picked the Astros to make the World Series, after all — but it seems awfully lopsided, considering the Braves...

Chad Johnson's Evil Genius
Fans are still buzzing about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's inspired touchdown celebration against the Chicago Bears a couple of weeks ago, in which he aped Michael Flatley's Riverdance routine. Funny, definitely, and certainly original. But was it a quiet, brilliant rip on Bears linebacker ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while poking around the old Simmons place with the Hardy Boys ... • Jim Tracy out as Dodgers manager. Hey, there's a fat guy with white hair taking up office space in the mezzanine who's looking for work. • MNF: Panthers hold off Favre, Packers, sending Green Bay to an 0-4 record, an...

Tom Brady The Next Namath In More Ways Than One
We were pleased to see that Patriots quarterhunk Tom Brady shook off his hangover enough to lead the Pats to a last-minute victory over the Steelers last week; we were beginning to become somewhat concerned about his tendency to get all bombed and start hitting on Olsen twins....

NBA Players Apparently Have Wives
We know it's not quite as exciting as baseball players palling around with women who aren't their wives, but Yay!Sports entertains us anyway by directing our attention to this extended message board post with pictures of NBA stars and their wives. Some are cute (we love Brian Grant and his family)...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching Riverdance and trying to pick out Bengals' receiver Chad Johnson ... • MLB: Braves, Angels clinch their division titles, decide to celebrate together to save money. • MLB: Yankees lose, Red Sox split, and it's tied — so let's start planning for the big series, shall we...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch between the drunken calls from Pat O'Brien and Bill O'Reilly ... • College FB: Toledo at Fresno State. A game too big for local TV, too boring for pay-per-view. [ESPN2] • MLB: The team-formerly-known-as-Anaheim can clinch against Oakland. [KCAL] • MLB: Rockies at Braves. Atlanta can al...

When Bronson Arroyo's Rock Isn't Hard Enough
MTV channels its inner Page 3 today, looking at the worst music offerings from professional athletes. (We're going to assume "ESPN Hollywood" has done this story about six times.)...

About Last Night ...
What you missed due to your somewhat troubling five-hour visit to the Liberace Museum ... • Clausen Effect: Tennessee upsets No. 4 LSU in college football. • Sorry About That, Chiefs: Denver slaps around Kansas City on MNF. • Damn Yankees: Big Unit leads Yanks to half-game lead over rained-out Red S...

Page 2's Collective Award Winners
We would like to congratulate ESPN's Page 2 on its Online Journalism Awards nomination for the Best Online Commentary (Large), which, at first glance, appears to be for the most outstanding columnist who uses very big letters on a computer. The site's fellow nominees, impressively, are not whole s...

To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...

Roger Clemens And His Funny Shirts
More Webshot findings from the ladies of On The DL, and though none are quite as damning as the married Brandon Arroyo housing poor college students on his lap, there's still some pretty fun stuff. Not least of which are creative shirt designs from Phillies outfielder Pat Burrell (whom this blind ...

Paris Hilton And Ross Verba: Our Lucy And Ricky
We're not saying that Paris Hilton's already decumbent standards are getting somehow lower or anything, but one would think that when you're on the cover of Vanity Fair, you'd be able to party with a relatively high class of athlete. Nope: Hilton was out boobing it up in Las Vegas last weekend wit...

NFL Roundup: Kickers Soak Up All The Drama
• Like everyone else who is prone to breaking their spine whenever there's a stiff wind, we've always had an affinity for kickers. So when Cowboys bully tackle Larry Allen went after former XFL kicker Jose Cortez after he missed an extra point — to be fair, Cortez got a little lipp — we cringed th...

Derek Jeter ... REVEALED! (Uh, by CBS.)
After its rather incomprehensible look at Miami Dolphins hemp advocate Ricky Williams last week, "60 Minutes" continues to scrape the filthy underbelly of the sports world with a cutting look at Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. You won't believe the dirt they've uncovered. It's Derek Jeter LIKE YOU'...

24 College Avenue "Mystery" Solved
Yesterday, we openly speculated who the heck that band "Autologic" that plays on Page 2's endless "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue. Another reason we love you, readers: You came through....

Yard Work Takes No Prisoners
We're not sure what they're putting in the water over there at Yard Work world headquarters today, but they've been murdering us all afternoon. Murdering us with COMEDY!...