br Page 921 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No One Cares About A F*cking Live Press Conference
The Vikings beat the Packers at Lambeau Field yesterday. But did you know there were other NFL games played on that day? No, I swear. It's true!...
Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...
Tackler Has Great Form, Terrible Uniform Recognition
The semi-pro Las Vegas Cobras claim to "provide our players the ability to fine-tune their skills for advancement to the next level." Lesson number one: stop tackling your teammates....
Just What I Was Thinking; This Game Needs More Favre
Because you, the consumer, demanded it, FOX has a dedicated camera trained solely on Brett Favre (reader David demonstrates). Try to keep it in your pants. [Brett Favre cam]...
In Which A Man Sends Death Threats To A Horse
A week ahead of Conduit's big Breeders Cup Turf race, a man has been charged for threatening to kill the colt. If you had Conduit and Jack Woltz's horse Khartoum in the death exacta, good luck. [Horse And Hound]...
Jenn Brown's Halloween Costume Just Made Me Commit A Personal Foul In My Pants
Jenn Brown is making it known that she is an up-and-comer in the Hottie Sports Reporter Pantheon. I haven't been this excited about black and white stripes since I ran into the Hamburglar at a McDonald's in Jersey. [Busted Coverage]...
Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout
Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee!...
Brad Childress Is No Elaine Dickinson, That's For Sure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Send Us Your Lame Sports-O-Ween Costumes
Tomorrow is All Hallows' Eve and you may be tempted to put on a sport-themed costume in an effort to win candy and prizes. You should seriously rethink that strategy. Sorry, but there can only be one Baby Mangino....
Messing With Our Heads: A Former Player's Lament
With the brains of football players now a matter of national concern, writer Michael Oriard, a former Chiefs offensive lineman and a cultural historian, worries about both his own fate and the NFL's....
Thread Color On Running Shorts Is The Most Important Sporting Issue Of Our Age
I don't know if any post I've written for this site has generated more public feedback than the controversial tale of the disqualified runner with white thread in his shorts. You people really care about high school cross country....
The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit....
Danny Snyder Doesn't Like Your Heartfelt Signage
Dan Steinberg found this in a trash can outside FedEx Field, where pretty much every form of human expression has been banned. It's clear: Dan Snyder is just a moustache and a pogrom or two short of being Joseph Stalin....
Improper Stitching Costs Cross Country Team A Title
There are dumb rule violations and then there are dumb rules being violated, and I'm not sure if I've heard of any regulation stupider than the one that cost a Baltimore high school a county cross country championship....
NFL Dementia Study Is Not Exactly "Scientific"
The NFL would like everyone to just calm down about all the brain-melting that they help create every Sunday, at least until they can finish their own personal scientific study that will be totally fair and not at all biased....
Brad Childress Is The Ugliest Dame You’ll Ever See
Fucking Brad Childress. Only this prick would decline an offsides penalty on first down to take a seven-yard gain. Or dress like a woman on the flight to Pittsburgh to motivate his team. Wait, what?...
Brooke Hundley Gets The Lewinsky Treatment
"The biggest reason this is in the news," CBSSports.com's Gregg Doyel said on CNN yesterday, apropos the Steve Phillips saga, "is because she's not real good looking." She isn't? I hadn't heard. People are usually so delicate about such things....
Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....
Sam Bradford Reminds You To Not Stay In School, Kids
Cautionary tale Sam Bradford will end his college career with season-ending shoulder surgery and a ticket to the NFL combine. That's the last time he takes career advice from Billy Sims. [NYTimes/MorningNews]...