brazil Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Slumping Team Tries New Motivational Tactic: Guns
When a reader sends you a tip with the subject line "More dysfunctional team than the Mets," you have to open it. So of course the story involves a soccer team's executives threatening the players with guns after a loss....
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...
So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....
The Other Wins That Were Supposed To Change U.S. Soccer
United States 2, Spain 0. "Probably the greatest victory" in U.S. Soccer history. History-making. The one that will change the future of soccer in the country, right? It can join the club....
Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Brazilian Soccer Coach Pulls A Woody Hayes
Santilli's team was losing 1-0 on Sunday when he ran out on to the field to retrieve a loose ball, but as he returned to the sideline he decided to lower his shoulder into a player for the opposing team for no reason whatsoever. (Because he was brushed on the shoulder by a 60-year-old man, the playe...
Brazilian Soccer Players Are Pretty In Pink
Here we have one Jairo, a midfielder for the Brazilian club Figueirense, who has ... wait a minute. Isn't it a little early to be rolling out the spring wardrobe?...
Goodbye Cruel Hexagon-Paneled World
I have threatened suicide many times — the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is the chief culprit — but I can't imagine this. A soccer fan in Rio de Janeiro climbed to the top of a stadium roof and tried to jump off, all because his favorite team, Vasco de Gama, was going to be demoted from the first lea...
Sox Fans To Rays Fans: I'll See Your Landing Strip and Raise You A Brazilian
Yesterday, female Rays fans garnered national attention for their fan solidarity through a Rayhawk bikini wax, but Red Sox fans, undaunted by the plucky gesture, are planning a pubic counterstrike. Bugs and Cranks picked up a Boston Craig's List ad which reveals the plan of attack: ...
Brazil Mourns Murdered Soccer Player
Brazilian soccer fans were stunned this week when second-division star Thiago da Silva was attacked and murdered on a soccer field in the suburbs of Rio de Janeiro. A former member of Vasco da Gama, one of the nation's most popular teams, da Silva was overwhelmed by three men who handcuffed and beat...
They Must Be Coming By Sea
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Arsene Wenger would have made a good captain for the Titanic. That has less to do with any nautical skills that he may or may not have, than it does with hubris. This is an Arsenal side he has claimed in print has the ability ...
Brazil's Ballooning Death Count
So, do you remember that time when you did one too many hits off the gravity bong and you decided to a walk outside to get some fresh air, but then you bugged out and ran back inside because you thought you saw a priest being carried away by a bunch of helium party balloons?...
Under The Brazilian Rainbow
Via Sports By Brooks comes this seemingly tall tale about these terrifying little fellers , who are supposedly part of Brazil's all dwarf soccer team, the "Gigantes do Norte."Even though this squad is not even close to being gigante in physical size, they are so in spirit, apparently....
Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...
Judge: Brazilian Soccer Is Too Gay
Say what you will about the legal system in our country — we are a country governed by laws, and those laws are enforced by a man who gleefully lies, splendid, amazing, artistically blessed lies — but at least we don't have people like Manoel Maximiniano Junqueira Filho, a Brazilian judge....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you walk out a wiser, weaker man ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Nate "Glen" Campbell vs. Wilson "Home Improvement" Alcorro, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at San Diego. Petco's cavernous outfield no-man's land must be fed! [TBS] • Soccer: FIFA Under-20 World Cup, USA vs. Brazil, at O...
Hey, Ronaldinho, Why The Long Face?
This is pretty much what you think it is: A "full-size" sculpture of Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho ... as a regal white horse. It's currently up for bid on eBay, and the price is right too: Only $25,000! (With $2,500 more to ship.)...
Does Ronaldinho's Girlfriend Actually Exist?
Josh Robertson is an editor at Playboy, so, as you'd probably expect, he spends a lot of time looking at pictures of naked women. This discerning eye, and a journalist's skepticism, has brought him to a conclusion: soccer star Ronaldinho's "girlfriend" appears to be a complete fake....
Well Worth Losing The World Cup
Want to know why alleged Brazilian superstar Ronaldinho struggled so much during the World Cup? It wasn't the world-class competition, the pressure of the international stage or being hypnotized by teammate Ronaldo's gut. It was orgasms and video games....
Hirshey: Forza Italia!
Forget the match-fixing scandal and apparent suicide attempt of former beloved defender Gianluca Pessotto that were going to be such huge distractions that Italy would retreat into its mournful defensive shell and not come out until they had to board the plane to go home. As anyone who has glimpsed ...